A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I could really use some advice and guidance. I don't know what is wrong with me. It seems since I've been about fourteen or so, I have been attracted to older men. This attraction for older men keeps intensifying as I get older. My friends have boyfriends our age (17 and 18) yet I cannot get attracted to them. I actually feel disgusted when I think about dating a boy my age.I think this partly has to do with the fact that my parents have been divorced for a few years now. I don't see my dad too often, and I feel like I'm lacking a strong male figure in my life, so maybe I'm looking for an older man to fill that? Can anyone help me out with why I feel like this? At work, my best friend will say that a boy is cute--he looks like he is in his teens, but I notice the guys in their late 20's and 30's and think in my head "Oh there's an attractive man." I just cannot seem to correct this. And I don't know where/how to go about meeting an older man that would be interested in me. I just have so many confusing thoughts and I just need someone to help me figure myself out! Thanks :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): First you need to turn 18 before you date an older man. It is said that women who have daddy issues like older men. An older guy is mature and sexually experienced. Also he is a lot more likely to appreciate you than another teenager.
What you need to make sure is that he respects you and that he treats you extremely well. If he treats you like dirt then he just wants sex. Where does he take you? If he cares about you he will take you places besides the bedroom.
I am 36. My girlfriend is 18. There is nothing wrong with it. I feel fortunate to have her. This motivates me to treat her way better than women my own age.
A
female
reader, Morrissey-fan  +, writes (24 August 2010):
Okay from personal experience I can tell you now that at 17 like I am I'm still immature and any older (like 40/46) guys who I find interesting and have gone to bed with have all turned out just to be as immature. Your attracted to older guys because your more mature older guys attracted to younger girls are because there immature.
But I wouldn't let that stop you ;) just be aware of that risk. Good luck :D
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): It is completely normal for a girl to be attracted to an older man as he reflects the domineering strength and gives a sense of safety and protection. It is important for every woman since basically early ages it became an instinct.. I guess the actual realization comes with age whether or not you want a very old/not that old man. I myself had various encounters: with 42 and 34 year olds (I was 20 then), the whole sexuality and sensuality blended, they were amazing lovers, caring and attentive, while any relationship with same aged guyz (18-20) felt very immature. Older men, however, have their own 'bugs' which for a young girl are sometimes hard to understand and that she actually doesnt need at all..so to cut it short, just let your feelings and attraction be, the experience and time will show you what is right for you only...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): What you are experiencing is normal the problem comes to our emotions when society tells us who we are supposed to be attracted to.
Your young so you should be attracted to someone your own age..If you were older you should be attracted to someone your own age.
You see when you become legal age don't let society tell you who you should be attracted just enjoy the experience and if after your crush seems to fade if it does then you'll have experienced it instead of always wondering how it would have been being with someone older.
I am older and attracted to much younger ladies legal age but I would be looked upon as someone robbing a younger ladies youth which is a joke.
So if it works for both of you that is the older is attracted to you as well ignore the chatter and go for it and experience it.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Jesc +, writes (24 August 2010):
 You know you might be right about the strong male factor.
Have you ever thought that maybe you go for older men cause of their maturity? Compared to the ones your age.
They have grown up a bit more than the ones around your age. Which is really nice when you think about it. It's not a bad thing to be attracted to them. Why don't you just try dating one for a bit and see if it makes more sense to you.
I hope this helped please keep us informed. Good luck to you.
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