A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so have been working with his good looking guy for 5 months now. We have been checking each other out often and talkin to each other. The other week he added me as a friend on facebook. That weekend I was assaulted. Over messages I informed him of this and he said he would come over and "cheer me up". Well he lives about 20 miles from me and when he turned up he had 8 cans of lager and two bottles of wine!! I was in a right state, with black eye and fat lip and cuts and grazes everywhere. The night started off ok, us talking on the settee at my place, then he started to utch closer and closer. I thought to myself "he surely can't be thinking of coming on to me when I look in this state" but sure enough he went in for a kiss. As I fancy him like mad I kissed him back, but then he started moving his hands up my skirt - it was then I stopped and said "no, I'm not ready after what has happened at the weekend" he was ok about this and we carried on chatting. Then I said "I take it you have drank too much to drive" and he said "yeah" so I went into the bedroom and got him some blankets and went to bed. To be honest I was a bit creeped out by it. He left the next morning before I woke, but text me the next day to wish me luck at a job interview. In the days after this, we carried on texting each other and he sent a message saying "I am sorry it was awkward the other night. Do you want anything to happen between us?" I didn't really answer the question directly and the texting petered off. Today I was back at work and we had a convo about stuff in general, he then sent a text carrying on our conversation. Later on he sent a message asking again if I wanted anything to happen between us. I replied that the last time he came over it was very awkward and I was vulnerable and not in the right place to be came onto!! he sent a text back saying "ya sorry about that. Can we do the first "date" again?" I said, yes if we go out for a drink and not to my place. he said that is fine. But he then said "shall I come over to your town?" and I said "how about we meet halfway?" and he said "we could do but I would rather have a drink as I'm much more at ease" so I said fine I will come over to you then, and he said "well if you want a drink, I have spare room you can stay in. Only prob is if my ex finds out she will be on my case" he has a kid with his ex...which leads me to the other "issue". He has his child Fri, Sat and sunday and wednesday evening and has said he is only available on Mon, Tues, Thurs and weekends with loads of notice. I am very attracted to him, but my instinct is telling me it is a dead loss or am I jumping the gun?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): Wow, that is quite a story. I am sorry you were assaulted. No one should have to endure that. You might not like what I am going to say, but this guy you like sounds very emotionally immature. What real man brings booze over and comes onto you after you tell him you've been assaulted?! That is wrong. All he has done is made a bad situation worse. If he is doing this to you now, how will he behave in other situations that require maturity? I mean, being assaulted is pretty serious stuff...and then he comes over to assault you again? That is just the way I look at it. I wouldn't even talk to the guy. If you do, be ready for anything because he sounds like a user. I agree with your instincts. Plus, he sounds like he wants you to make decisions on whether you watn a relationship with him RIGHT NOW. Anyone who likes you (especially after what you've been through) should not demand answers from you of this sort. I wouldn't let him touch me.
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