A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 22 years of age and have never really been in a long-term relationship. Up until a couple of years ago, I had no self-confidence and could never understand how anyone would want to be with me, let alone how they could find me remotely attractive. Fortunately, times change and I am now more confident than ever, having been in several short relationships of no longer than about 2 weeks each time.My trouble is I always get cold feet whenever sex comes into the equation. I am disappointed, shy but somewhat proud to announce that I am still a virgin. I suppose I'm old fashioned, but I have never been into one-night stands and much prefer getting to know someone before the idea of "wasting" my first time.Girls tell me that my kissing skills are terrible and when I snog them, it feels like I'm eating them and slobbering everywhere. Admittedly, it may be the alcohol, but I equally accept I am really inexperienced and almost need some "lessons" to help me progress.What should I do? On holiday, I met a girl and we spend the night together, kissing and flirting. That was all ok, until we went onto the beach and started undressing. I sobered up so quickly and was not willing to have intercourse with her, mainly due to lack of protection but also due to my fear of falling below her expectations. Women start younger nowadays and so a guy like me, of my age, of my athletic build and confident nature would look a fool to mess it up.Cheers for your help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (7 October 2007):
 I think you are right to be worried about admitting being a virgin. You do have an advantage though, as you are 22. At 25, the real stigma hits. Losing your virginity at 23-23 is somewhat acceptable as you will be seen as a late bloomer. However, waiting a couple more years will make it harder.
Take a massage course. It will give you something to talk about, AND make you comfortable with knowing how to touch a woman.
Next I give seminars for adult male virgins to help them get to their first time. Read the reviews from virgins and those that I helped get their first girlfriends at:
http://www.franktalks.com/?content=frankseminar_amv
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, JackieR +, writes (7 October 2007):
 You say that your confidence has grown over the years which is great, but i don't think your totally where you want to be yet, are you??
I think you have to stop making your virginity such an issue, i know that the more attention you give to something the more of a problem it becomes, can you understand??
I think the fact you are still a virgin is fantastic, and when you meet a girl who is worth taking a chance on, she will think that too, you just have to believe that too!!
You have to stop thinking of yourself as 'different' than everyone else, i bet you have things that others wish that they had.
You say you are proud to be a virgin, but you are not confident to be one, do you really want to be those people who give it up to just anyone and then regret it?? Believe me sex is only fantastic when you find someone who you love and they feel the same. So don't lose your prescious virginity just because everyone else is doing it or to
fit in, because that is why most young people do it!!
So be proud and have confidence to be one of the very few who have chosen to wait for somone who is worth losing it to!!
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (7 October 2007):
 I will let you into a little secret, women actually find it quite a turn on if they know the person they are with is a virgin, especially the women out there that like to be the more dominent one, and if you are not interested in one night stands then you should have nothing to worry about, when you meet someone you like and it gets to the point where you are ready to go to bed then you just talk it through so you both know where you stand, because afterall it is supposed to be enjoyable.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (7 October 2007):
 Don't worry :) Your first time is a special time and it shouldn't be with some drunk you found :) If a girl likes you, she won't worry if you're a virgin, some women even like it.
I remember my first time (well obviously) and it was...weird :) My bf is two years older and he was 18 and a virgin when we did it. We knew we loved eachother and when we made love...we had protection and everything but we were kind of young and stupid :) It was my prom night and he couldn't even figure out how to undo my dress lol :) Then trying to put the condom on, that was a right laugh but when we actually did it, it was...great ;)
I guess what I'm trying to say is when you find the right girl, experience will have nothing to do with it, I hope this has been some sort of help to you!
Reply if you want to, love just-ask-xx
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