A
female
age
30-35,
*ilWun23
writes:A dear friend of mine passed away only 2 months ago and i cant help but feel miserable. His other friends know me and have continuously asked me to hang with them and i accept but when the day comes they dont call and ditch me for no apparent reason, days later the re appear and talk to me on the phone or IM like nothing, it has now started to really bother me because right now im staying at my grandmas house and i understand that everyone else has to work or go to school and im doing absolutly nothing to do, i dont know what to do. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, duce00 +, writes (17 November 2009):
 Baby duck made some good points...
Grief is definitely a funny thing.
I know a bit about grief myself. Mine was conflicted with unresolved anger and it really messed me up for a long time. Even today it bubbles up when I watch a stupid commercial about some darned cleaning product or something just out of the blue. I recognize it now and it passes quickly but I dont believe that it ever disappears completely. Dont take that as a bad thing...I just see it when it happens and recognize it quietly and continue to live on. The deep pain does pass.
I am not sure what resources you have but an organization called Hospice does excellent grief therapy and they even conducted a weekend camp that was great for me and my daughter. I hope that a resource is available like that for you.
One thing that I hope you can understand is that you have to get some real help with this. Your friends are wonderful and I imagine they will provide some support but I dont really hear that you are getting help from somebody who is well versed in handling grief. You need this and you will live in pain alot longer than you need to if you dont reach out for some qualified help.
One phrase I said after my loss was...
"death is only difficult for the living"
YOU are alive and you must do what you have to to start living again. That is what the deceased would tell you if they could.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 You will feel miserable because your still grieving for the friend you have lost. It will take some time before you can accept whats happened and allow yourself open to happiness but until then you have to take each day as it comes.
You may have lost your friend but I think that person is always going to be close to you and you have the memories in your heart. Remember the good times.
Your friend would not want you to lose hope but carry on.
Losing someone we love is not easy and we need support from those around us.
Have you tried opening up to grandma? from my experience grandma's are a girl's bestfriend and have been through their own share of loss's also.
If you feel your friend's friends have been ditching you prehaps you should ask them why they act like that there may be a good reason for their behavior.
Try not to get too tense and worry about this, for the time being you need to take things easy and take your time to get to a better feeling place.
Your friend is always going to be with you. Your friend is in your heart. Dont lose hope and remember this fact.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, thome  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 the best way to do is to move on. the more you think of your friend who passed away the more you become sad. try to mingle with your other friends. always remember that everybody dies but not in the same time, places, ways and reasons.
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