A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When i was 11 years old i lost both my parents and i had to live with my granny. She waz very stingy and 2 much strict and she abused me and my little sister because she doesn't love our father's family. At the age of 15 i startf drinking alchohol thinking it would reduce the stress. It became my habit and i started sleeping around because i would find a man who has a money in the tavern and go sleep with him. Few weeks back i wrote the list of the people i've slept with from the age of 15 until now(19) and i reached 26. Almost in 60% of them i didnt use protection. Now i've settled down and i can't forgive myself. I found the man of my dreams and i'm so not sure if i should tell him about my past. I'm also scared to get tested for HIV. I think he will leave me for this especially if i'm HIV positive. Plz help. What should i do?
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hiv , money, sexual past, std Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mr.goodguy  +, writes (28 December 2012):
 YES absolutely you should tell him and I'm sorry for your childhood but that's no excuse !if this man is going to share HIS LIFE with you HE deserves the truth the whole truth !yes its your life before BUT what so many fail to realize is its his life that will join with yours so he deserves to know it all and if he accepts it is up to HIM not you .Those choices were yours this is his.he will be so so angry TRUST ME if he's a good guy that's doesn't respect that lifestyle and you lied to get him!he will leave you or be miserable with this so called retroactive jealousy !its not jealousy its disgust .And yes get tested for both your health .Take care I hope he accepts your past and treats you good but if he does not well I don't blame him .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThnx 2 all of you guys. Now i'm definitly sure what to. I'm really greatful and i appreciate your input. I'll try and find some strength to get tested. Keep on helping n be blessed
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2012): First of all before you do anything else, GO to a dr and get tested. If it comes back ok, then there's no need to tell your boyfriend about any of your past because I think it would be too much for him to take on board and he'd likely leave you. If however it comes back positive, then you definitely NEED to tell him because if you're sexually active with him, he COULD have contracted it from you, and he too would need to get tested.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 September 2012):
 GO to the doctor and get a full STD panel done.
then you can have peace of mind.
and you can't be intimate with him without protection until you know...
as for telling him about your past... until you have the STD/HIV panel done you don't have to say anything
IF you come back positive you MUST tell him.
he has to make his choice based on facts honey.
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A
female
reader, Blissbaby13 +, writes (21 September 2012):
 Test. Do it now, or regret not seizing the oppertunity.Emotionally, you need to come to the understanding that what happened was NOT your fault. You were in a bad state of mind - that can prompt some very uncharacteristic behaviour. We've ALL been there and done it to some degree.Your grandmother abused you, and I'm so sorry. Maybe your previous promiscuous tendencies stemmed from how she treated you so horribly? She deprived you of affection, so maybe you sought sexual completion to fill the hole and heal the wound.It happens to us all, and you have no need to feel ashamed. None at all.Tell him about your past, and be the most honest you have ever been. Be unrelenting in your honesty - he is worth the truth, and you are worth his understanding. Trust him. You have to, and if he leaves then that is his loss and he was simply not the one. There is a potential lover in every soul you meet. Don't settle for anything less than the perfection you deserve.xx
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (21 September 2012):
Please see a doctor and have your female exam and bloodwork done to test for STDs including HIV. You will have to request the STD testing as it is NOT part of the female exam (the PAP smear only checks the cervix for abnormal cells).
HIV infection is usually transmitted by people engaging in high risk behaviors. People who use IV drugs, have unprotected sex with IV drug users, or have unprotected anal sex are more likely to become infected.
You should have the HIV test done just for your peace of mind...so you don't spend months or years worrying with this fear dragging you down.
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A
female
reader, Kay-Way  +, writes (21 September 2012):
 I wont judge because we all make mistakes but I will say what you have done is pretty reckless. Being depressed and stressed out is no excuse when it comes to having sex unprotected. I wouldn't be surprised if you had more than 1 STD and I'm even more surprised that you haven't gotten pregnant yet. You need to go to your doctor or a sexual health clinic and get yourself looked at straight away. Don't be scared by the fact that your dream guy will leave you if you do have one, you should be waaaaay more worried about your health and what certain STD's can do to you! You don't have to tell him about your past, but if you do have an STD then you're going to have to tell him if you both are thinking about having sex. Please please please go and get yourself looked at.
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