A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I decided to write a letter to a workmate I'd been seeing on and off for a couple of months to say what was going on in my head. We hadn't had chance to chat properly and I didn't want to embarass her in front of others so it was the best way I know. I hadn't really prepared myself for what she may say. If she had simply replied with a polite 'thanks but no thanks,' I could have handled it better. However, she spouted off a load of flattering things like 'You're the most amazing guy I've ever met' and 'I know I'm giving up something amazing for something that will probably hurt me in the long run!' She's decided to give it another go with her ex who has hit her before by the way! She thanked me for giving her back her self worth! Surely, that should be the job of the ex that she 'guesses' she still loves. Is anyone else confused? She still thinks we can be friends? I don't want to be angry at her but she initiated the whole situation, which is now very awkward, without knowing what she truly wants. I'm angry at myself for getting in a bit too deep but I knew she wanted me, but obviously not enough. I've got enough friends but I don't want to hate her. I've already taken a few days holiday to avoid seeing her. In some way, I guess I want her to feel bad that I've had to do this. I know it's selfish but I'm hurt and bemused right now.
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male
reader, nologo  +, writes (12 June 2007):
 "she initiated the whole situation"
This is true - you are a smart guy.
And moving further from this point: what was her motivation.
No doubt the whole situation was a test, but what was tested.
Personally I guess it's unlikely that she wanted to test you.
Most probably in this case she wanted to test her ability to
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