A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm an 18 year old girl, who's always identified as gay, came out when I was 14, literally NEVER been attracted to guys, the whole works. Then I started uni a couple of months ago, got settled, built up a new friendship group. One of my closest friends, well, probably THE closest friend I have here is a guy, let's call him G (for guy, before someone somewhere decides it stands for them). So G and I got on very well since day one, have always spent lots of time together, been able to talk for hours, etc etc. We've also become increasingly physically easy around each other, not just in a sort of hug hello and goodbye sort of way, but if there's no one else around we're likely to be found curled up in each other's arms while we chat, which I know seems weird but works for us.So, a few weeks ago he admitted her had feelings for me, and we sat down and talked about it, and I said that I was sorry, I wouldn't ever have feelings for him, asked if he wanted me to step back and keep my distance and he said no. We've only been closer since then. Emotionally, we're very very close, if I've had a bad day all I want is to see him and I know he'll make me feel better, if he's feeling down I'll do anything to fix it, and I miss him horribly when he's not around. I've been keeping telling myself, that however confusing all of that is, I know nothing can happen because I know I can never be attracted to a guy. Then, a couple of nights ago, we were lying together, very very close because he was a bit upset, and he had his head tucked under my chin. I'd been feeling a little confused recently anyway, and then he kissed my neck. Nothing major, just a peck, but I felt it straight down my spine and my heart rate went up sufficiently that he commented on it (not the most comfortable conversation I've ever had...).Now I don't know what to think, and if this is just something that my brain is manufacturing because I know he has feelings for me, I can't let it take over, because it's far too important a friendship for me to ruin, and apart from anything else, we're living together next year... it could all go so disastrously wrong. But then, the other part of my says that if these feelings are real don't I owe it to us both to give it a shot? Opinions on any and all of it, please, feeling a little lost here... :/ x Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just came in here to say thanks. A combination of these answers and a stern telling-off from my best friend pushed me to make that jump and stop over-thinking things. That was only a week ago, so I have no idea where this will take us, but looking back on it I can see that we were heading here all along, and you have no idea how much happier I am now I'm not constantly trying to rationalise my feelings. So thank you, those who replied, particularly fishdish, you really helped push me into a decision I now see I needed to make :) x
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just came in here to say thanks. A combination of these answers and a stern telling-off from my best friend pushed me to make that jump and stop over-thinking things. That was only a week ago, so I have no idea where this will take us, but looking back on it I can see that we were heading here all along, and you have no idea how much happier I am now I'm not constantly trying to rationalise my feelings. So thank you, those who replied, particularly fishdish, you really helped push me into a decision I now see I needed to make :) x
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): Theres also a possibility that you could be bisexual.
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 You need to give this a shot. you two haven't been friends in the traditional sense since the first time you decided to curl up together. just because you've associated yourself a certain way doesn't mean there aren't exceptions to every rule. it doesn't change who you are, you aren't a traitor to your identity or your community, you have just followed your heart as you've seen fit, and you will continue to remain true to your heart if you see this thing through. Further, you haven't led him on, he knows that this could just not work, but the attraction's there, the emotional connection can't be denied, and you both want it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I have had plenty of feelings for girls, that's what's confusing, and I don't feel the same way about him as I did about them... but then again, you never feel the same way twice about any two people, so I can't really draw anything from that... :) x
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): You say you were never attracted to guys...were you ever attracted to girls? It sounds like you have feelings for him and if your not straight at most you are bisexual. Give it a a shot and remember if you realize you aren't gay, its ok to go back on your words.
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