A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The only time when I feel comfortable and I can truly be myself (whoever that is) is when I am with my family or 2 of my friends whom I have known for years. Other than that, I find it so hard to interact with people. I always get the impression that people think I’m a bit of an oddball and I find it difficult to make conversation. Sometimes I try to say something to join in a conversation, but most of the time I just feel stupid for trying. I mostly keep quiet as I think, if I have nothing interesting to say, then it is not worth bothering. That therefore puts me in a box as a person who is boring and uninteresting.This was the case all through school and whatever hope of it changing went down the drain after I got to uni. It really gets me down. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like an awkward duck. I have been told before that I am too uptight and don't know how to let go and enjoy life. All true, but I just can't, there is nothing inside me letting me. I feel as though life is passing me by and I'm just standing still.I am in my first year of university and pulled a short straw on accommodation; I began living with 8 other girls- 2 Chinese, a Russian, a Japanese, and 4 other English girls. The foreign girls didn't, and still don't, talk or make conversation however hard I have tried (in my own way), and by Christmas 4 of the girls had moved out. It's very quiet here and it doesn't help that I was dreading coming to uni anyway. I have heard of other flats that cook together and go out clubbing or to bars. I have made a few sort-of friends but they don't go out much and many have boyfriends so don't really want to branch out to make other friends. I therefore spend a lot of time alone, which I don't detest, as I don't mind my own company, but just wish it didn't happen with such regularity.It feels as though it will never get easier and I'll never have a good relationship with someone/people when you are totally comfortable and happy. I haven't had a girly giggle over nothing in so long and just hope that it won't always be like this. How long can someone survive when loneliness consumes them? But then I think that it won't happen when I feel like this because I will seem desperate and on it goes, a vicious circle much?!I've never had a boyfriend (no wonder really) and I just don't think it’s in the cards for me. I wish I had the closeness and love with someone that comes with such a relationship but how can I open myself to someone else when I’m not comfortable with who I am? I read a lot of romance books, and I mean ALOT! With life and all its uncertainty (and awkwardness in my case) I just love the guaranteed happy ending. I like to think that if I can't have one then its nice to read about people who can (albeit fictional ones).It doesn't help that I have a sister who is the definition of the word 'success'. She has great grades, an awesome boyfriend, so many friends who she can just openly chat with and have a laugh. I'm a pro at putting on a brave face and acting like life is peachy but it's not. Not at all.Sorry I have rambled on for so long. Thank you for taking time to read this :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): I actually feel a little annoyed hearing you speak like this, ok listen you are young, beautiful and intelligent never think people are better than you or think yourself boring or uninteresting. Never worry about what others think and never change for anybody.You are who you are and that is that. Nobody is better than anybody at the end of the day we all have our faults,we are only human.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 Hey hey... relax. You've barely started your life as an adult, it is way too early yet to say "it's not in the cards for me". Just stick your head out there, go out of your comfort zone, and be HONEST. Speak from the heart. If you don't have anything smart to say, instead of being quiet say "I used to think I should stay quiet when I don't have anything interesting to say, but that would be boring, right?" Then smile or laugh. If the person doesn't smile back then they are the ones who are awkward, not you. Besides, what does it matter if one or two think you are weird when you stick your head out there... it's the only way to connect with people, someone has to make the first move. At your age, people are still too shy and embarrassed about themselves, and uncomfortable (just like you!) to make the moves. It takes courage to get out there. It takes courage above all other things to meet new people, and talk to them. It doesn't take intelligence, or for you to be smart, or funny, or anything. You being you is interesting enough. If you want a boyfriend, you want him to like you for who you are anyway, otherwise it'd be a waste of time. All you need to find him, and talk to him, is to be brave. You might also want to look through some of the questions from today, I will link a few, just to show you that you are definitely NOT alone in this boat. I advice you to be patient, and to start digging who you are. If you can't love yourself, no one else can either. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/staying-true-to-myself-doesnt-make-me-cool.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-asking-too-much-to-want-to.html
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A
female
reader, lysha +, writes (29 May 2011):
 heyy, this must be hard,i sort of understand how you feel, i went through a bad patch where i lost all my friends except for two and being quite closed in and didnt do nothing, i then found it hard to make friends with anyone else because i had become to closed in to myself, i got fed up with this and now how the perfect bunch of friends!ill give you some tips,-go for people who are like you-smile at anyone who walks past just dont make yourself look so eager-say hello to a few people, try the people that smile back at you-do some of them have facebook? add them on their and try chatting over that:)-compliment peoplehope this helps :)
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