A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm almost 21 years old and have not had sex yet. my longest relationship was about 3 months back in high school when i was 16.i really dont know what the hell i'm doing. i'm not gay lets get that out of the way. I just feel sometimes too nervous at times. i do smoke pot maybe that comes into play since i hear about pyschological affects.it may be all in my head but i just don't know! i do not tell every woman i meet that i'm a virgin, but only old friends and close ones. i really haven't had much of sexual encounters of any sort. maybe that's why i feel like this point of my life i'm inexperienced and maybe a failure?I'm a good looking guy as well, but i just don't know what to do?! i tend to be indecisive and i just feel like my head is messing around and causing the other head to not work?say anything back 'im a great listener. i would greatly appreciate it, and getting me out of this hole.if there's any questions you all may have of curiousty please do ask so. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): "But I got High" by Afroman.... Great song, and oh so true about the problem surrounding "pot". Thanks emilyanswers.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (25 June 2008):
You've got a lot of advice on how the treat the ladies and how to wait for the right one and how you are perfectly normal already. So I will just add a bit on....
You say you are smoking pot and in my experience, people who do that really don't get out much as they are too busy sitting at home staring at shiney things.
Pot affects your short term memory, and many many many other things. Do some research on the internet and you might want to consider cutting down.
Also go and have a look on You Tube for the song "But I got High" by Afroman. It might give you a clue as to why you aren't getting out more and meeting new girls.
make it your mission to meet / start talking to at least 5 new girls a week. Your next girl is not going to fall through the ceiling onto your bed, you have to get out there and find her yourself.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): don't worry! it happens with lots of people. :)
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A
male
reader, Bolo +, writes (25 June 2008):
Good thing your asking for help. I have one recommendation for you. a book called "The Game". It may seem really lame but the guy who wrote this is a genius. The book is about being a pick-up artist but lets you learn the art of seduction and how to go from opening a girl to having her live with you. There is just way too many things to say on how to get girls into bed its best you refer to a book.
The best advice I can give you for now is not to tell girls you are a virgin. Its awful, but lie if a girl asks. Women are attracted to.. Well, assholes and guys who are well known with the ladies. It sounds wrong, and even illogically stupid. But its just how things go :-/.
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A
female
reader, interlud3 +, writes (25 June 2008):
Okay -
My question to you is: why do you find your intimacy level so important? Even if you haven't 'lost your virginity' it doesn't mean that you are a failure. Personally - I'd also like to ask if you have anything in your life that you are proud of.
If you want to get intimate with a girl, you must be charming to her. Girls like feeling loved, so shower them with it. And also, be yourself when you go out on dates.
Also be:
- respectful
- polite
- listening
- caring
These are not 'pussy' characteristics, these are actually more preferred among girls.
And depending on the girl, it may take time to get to that physical level with her. Only 3 months (I think) will not get you in bed. Much longer than that.
Make your relationships last and make them worth something besides a good time in bed for yourself.
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A
male
reader, Chumley2222 +, writes (25 June 2008):
 Hey now! Don't be so down on yourself. EVERYONE goes through this, no matter how many relationships they may or may not have had. I personally know an awesome fellow who is now 27 and still has not had sex. It's not that he's disgusting, or even that he doesn't talk to women. It just hasn't happened for him yet. He doesn't feel as if he's let anyone down, and isn't pressured by the stigma of being a virgin.
Take my advice, and you do what you feel inside, for yourself. Sex is a tiny, tiny (TINY) part of a successful relationship and you'll know you're with the right woman when she doesn't flinch when you eventually reveal your status as virgin, and instead treats you with even more sensitivity and love. It happens to different people at different times, and it shouldn't make you feel insecure, inexperienced, or a failure. It makes you an awesome guy. There's a special lady out there for you, and if you stick by your guns and wait for her, your first time will be more magical then someone who's had sex 123423853 times and still feels unsatisfied.
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