A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well this is very very odd. very.. From the past few months I've begun to feel very agitated and fearful about settling down. I'm 22 and I'd like to marry my bf of 5 yrs after my higher studies.number1. my real plan was to work for a couple of years, save up and do my masters...but now it seems like time is going to pull on. Im sure i wouldnt be able to do my masters until 2016 and get married until another 5 years (to save up, study, and start working again). Suddenly, i feel like time flew by. I feel meaningless and agitated. More odd than that I even worry that I'll one day become less fertile to make a family. and i feel weirdly agitated when i look at people who are my age getting married. I know im not ready until another 3 yrs at least...but i feel the hurry like its some sort of warning. I start imagining that im becoming less and less fertile. (i know its so absurd, i've even stopped drinking, which i used to occasionally, due to this fear that it will make me age faster) . I also worry about his health..he's 4 yrs older to me. He drinks quite often and quit smoking only recently.number 2. We(me and my bf) dont have a very active sex life because of the society we live in. (we dont get enough chances except for during vacations on travel and have to wait until marriage to havve a better sexlife). So basicaly i feel like our prime age is passing by without enough fun. I feel like i don't have control over the time, money and age. When I graduated and joined a job which i like a lot, i thought I'm gonna have control on these things. He too is very stressed over the fact that he's going to take time to become more financially secure. I never used to be this way. I was a completely opposite person who was philosophical about life and highly emotional. Did his worries rub off on me? I don't know. I badly want us both to pursue our dreams of higher education, travel and doing exciting things like adventure sports and then settling down before my biological clock starts ticking. I should probably have more planning and determination, but I have always gone with the flow and now I feel i was wrong about going with the flow!I haven't said about any of these worries to anyone. not even a close friend. I would be too embarrassed to explain this to my parents or boyfriend anyways. (especially the fertility part, I look at little kids or babies and think when will i have one what if i don't have?, but I'm not even responsible enough to wash my own plate! or take the tea cup to the sink).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2014): Strangely I started feeling old and worrying about the future and what If I won't have kids or get married at 21 and a couple of my friends have experienced the same thing. I suppose the 20s are a time when we go through a lot of changes and it can have an effect on you like that.I don't worry so much now,at the ripe old age of 26 lol.It's true-things hardly ever work out as planned and you never know whats around the corner.If you really do have a strong gut feeling that you are becoming less fertile,is there any health condition you have or have had that could affect fertility? do you know what age other women in your family started the menopause? If there are no health issues and the women in your family have not started menopause early then you need to just relax and forget about it for a few years.Otherwise perhaps it would be worth going for a check-up,just in case.I read an article about a woman who started menopause at 28 and she said she'd had a strong feeling she should try to get pregnant in her early 20's and that she wished she'd listened to it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2014): you know what they say: you want to make God laugh make plans.you know that yourself that to talk about fertility issues at your tender is quite silly. There will be at least 8-10 years ahead of you when you will be very fertile.your boyfriends depressive mood about finances can definitely rub off on you. Money is essential for comfortable living, but if you go crazy about it can ruin your life. This is one thing that you can control by budgeting and spending wisely. You are so young that you can become anything from that point. your life can change many many times. you really need to relax. and put yourself in a different state of mind. your worries are not supported by facts
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