A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I am so confused about a guy in my marching band. I'm a freshman and he is a senior, but I think he may like me. I've definitely shown him i'm interested by looking at him and trying to hold his gaze; that happens a lot. The thing is, I'm not sure of the signs. He smiles at me, clearly he thinks i'm funny, he leaves his group and stands in my line of vision, and when i'm with my guy friends who are freshmen, he keeps an eye on me and almost stares at my friends. Could he like me or am i imagining it? How can I get to know him if im too afraid to talk to him? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all soooo much! i've just been so depressed about what to do and what this kid is thinking..you all have brought up excellent points that i'll work out sometime between now and november (yikes!!) anyway, i appreciate the help. God bless
--Jenna--
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (10 October 2010):
Hi there. There's a definite possibility that he likes you.
One sure sign of attraction between two people, is that they will often look at each other. This is a very reliable hint.
Even though you are shy around him, one thing you could do is, during band practise in one of your breaks, walk past him - right in front of him - quickly look up, smile and say Hi.
For instance so it doesn't look artificial, you might need to go to the toilet, so use that time to walk in front of him when you do. Make sure you look at him as you walk towards him, and smile even if you can't bring yourself to actually speak. A smile is always a good start. It shows him you are interested and are approachable. It will be some encouragement to him as well.
Young men are often afraid of approaching a girl, for fear of being rejected. So by you deliberately walking in front of him and walking past him, smiling and maybe or maybe not saying hi, you are letting him know the coast is clear to come forward at some point later, and perhaps have a short chat with you.
Don't rush that to happen though, it will happen when it's meant to.
If that happens, don't worry about what to talk about, it will all just happen. You could make comments about how the band practise has been going on that day, school, music generally - really anything at all. But the band and anything related would be a good starting point, as you're already doing that anyway, so it's easy. The more you talk, the more relaxed you will feel. It will just flow from there, you'll see.
The main thing is to just be yourself, don't try to impress him or try to be funny by telling jokes, that always comes across as false and forced. You want everything to be relaxed and easygoing. Have fun and enjoy the experience.
But one thing to keep in mind, please wait for him to come to you - don't go over to him and start talking. Your walking past him, smiling and saying hi, is all you have to do. The rest is up to him.
Whenever you have band practise, always smile and say hi, so that he knows you feel the same way he does. The rest will all just fall into place over time. He'll soon get the courage to come over and talk to you.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Dont be afraid, am sorry to say you are never going to know if you dont ask him, so just try and get talking to him and get to know him better and then after you feel comfortable enough tell him that you like him, just go for it you have nothing to lose and men love girls who take the first step, believe me you may be giving him all the right signs but some men can be so blind to this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): Just slip him a note that says something like "Hey big guy - I fancy the pants off you - are you interested?" and wait for his response. Faint heart never won fair lady - it works the other way round too. Talk to him - you've got a 50/50 chance of things turning out the way you want - and what is there to lose??
Phil
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