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female
,
*oveminer
writes: I am 48 years old, divorced twice, single since 1990. I have been dating a man for 13 years now, I fell deeply in love with this man from early in the relationship. He is divorced after a 28 year marriage. He and I get along great together and talk and work things out together. We have never had a fight, disagreements have been worked threw. We both have grown children, and I have gained custody of my three young grand-daughters four years ago. He and I do not, never have lived together. He adores the grandkids, and they do him also. The problem: He asked me to marry him yesterday!! I am so confused and scared. I haven't answered him yet. I love him, I believe I could spend the rest of my life with him. But I have 3 young children I am responsible for and it's not an easy job. I'm afraid the stress, on a daily basis will wear on our relationship. Also maybe I'm afraid to get married again, I've been there twice. What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2006): I am so pleased for you, dear! Congratulations and have an awesome wedding! He sounds like "one of a kind", hun so you go, girl! lol. Best wishes... Hugs, Irish xxoo
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (13 October 2006):
 Better start planning...whoooo Hoooooo congratulations once again.
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A
female
reader, loveminer +, writes (12 October 2006):
loveminer is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll that have answered my posting, Thank You for your support and kind words!!!! It does help to hear others thoughts. He and I have talked, I shared my concerns and he his. He wants to help raise the girls in a stable, loving home. He says they deserve to know that they atleast have 2 people wanting to share life with them. He feels that it will all work out, if we stick together, and I allow him to be a grandfather to them. He told me that nothing worth having, comes easy. He said that he knows there will be days that are hectic and crazy, but Us 4 girls make his world worth living, and besides, He can blame each new grey hair on something besides age!!! So the wedding is set for April 5, 2007, our 14th year together. Thank you all once again. And I know I'm very lucky to have him by my side. I just want him there FOREVER!!!
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (12 October 2006):
I think you have Dated long enough. Congratulations he sounds wonderful. And I bet he's aware of the girls and has factored them into his world too....He was married a loooooong time...not like he's offering to make you number 16 he thinks...grin. Have a wonderfull honeymoon.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 October 2006):
 Third time's the charm!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2006): You must be a gracious, loving woman to have opened your heart and home to your 3 grandchildren. Usually in cases where grandparents have retained custody of grandchildren, it was likely a situation where you had to do this. Someone had to and I commend you. So after 13 years of dating, this man has been with you every step of the way, hasn't he. It really sounds like you and this man know each other with depth and grace. He was with you when you first took in your little grandaughters 4 years ago, and he likely was supportive then and will keep doing so, now. Has he spent a lot of quality time with you in your home, with you and the grandaughters? If he has, then he knows what to expect, if he were to marry you...right? Some men become wonderful and loving step-grandfathers to their beloved’s grandchildren. However, a ready-made family comes with its own history and habits and there will be places he will fit, and places he won’t. This is par for the course, with marriage. You just work it out as you go along. After all, marriage is compromise. So remember, no matter what, everyone leaps into the unknown when it comes to marriage..it's a risk-no guaruntees! Have a heartfelt talk with him..tell him your concerns and then you both decide how you want to proceed. I think you may need some reassurances..and he's the guy to give that to you. Good luck, dear.
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A
female
reader, lilmzmoffett +, writes (11 October 2006):
 What is marriage?? A piece of paper that says boom! in the eyes of the law your married!! If you not as willing to get married a 3rd time but sill want a special comittment to this womderful man, then have a commitment party!! Ive been to one before. You can use a celebrant or something like that and just celebrate the commitment you both have for eachother. Its the same as marriage but no legal contract is entered into where you need a divorce id things turn sour.
Your already a defacto couple. So yeah my adivce, throw a big reception, call it your commitment party and have a blast!!
Ps: But if you do want to get married go for it!! He sounds great! Commitment party is only if you are not wanting to walk down the isle a 3rd time.
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A
female
reader, Manya +, writes (11 October 2006):
I think he will love to help you with the three children. You sound
so happy! I can see why you hesistate after your previous marriages,
and you didn't go into them. But from the tone of your letter,
my instinct is to say, LUCKY YOU! MARRY HIM, MARRY HIM, MARRY HIM!!!
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (10 October 2006):
 Hun, I think he sounds like a wonderful man. Third time lucky, I feel.
I think you would make a lovely couple, you both know what you want in life and are totally committed to one another.
I say GO FOR IT!!!
Best of luck
(whistles the wedding march)
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