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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been seeing this guy for a year now. We're both in college and he goes to school in Baltimore while im still here in Chicago. When he's home for breaks we're always together and get along great. Yet when he's away sometimes we lose touch and dont talk for weeks. Im really insecure about how he feels about me because when we first meet, we slept together on only the 3rd time we hung out. Although we still are really close, i cant help feeling like he's only keeping me around for sex and doesn't ever really want to commit to a relationship. Is he ever going to ask me out! Its been a year already. He's coming home for break next week and i still dont know where we stand. He says hes gonna spend all his time with me but he's still close to his ex and im afraid if i dont show him attention he'll go back to her. Should i let him go?Did i mess things up by sleeping with him too soon? please help!
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 i dont think sleeping with him has anything to do with this. i think the problem here is that u were very hopeful things will work out between the two of u, unfortunately u are not sure if his spending time with u means love or just hanging out, things like this are easy to read between the lines and from what u said i think he just want company when he is back home its like he knows u are always available for him and he is taking advantage of that, if i were u i wouldnt worry whether he goes back to his ex or not, i would worry about my didgnity and what i need as a woman from him. do u think this guy is offering u what u deserve? are u happy with the way he is to you? there are so many questions u can ask urself in order to evaluate this relationship before u start blaming urself for no reason. and frankly i dont think he is the kind of man u need in ur life u deserve so much more so try and find someone who can offer u something in return as relationship is not only about giving u must receive too. good luck
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