A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I have been together for about five years; since we were 18 and reaching the end of high school. We've been engaged for a year and three months and our wedding is in one week. Everything is settled, planned, ordered, and ready for showtime in one week's time.I know that my fiance is the one for me, the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and raise children with. And I don't say that because I'm stuck with everything having to do with the wedding. I'm totally and completely head over heels in love with my fiance and nothing in the world can change that.My issue, however, is (and I don't know how common or unusual this may be) but: I'm afraid my fiance might not have played the field as much as I think he should have.He and I met the beginning of our junior year of high school and during that time, I was dating my first love. That relationship lasted 2.5 years in high school with it ending about a year and two months before my fiance and I started dating.My fiance... has never had a girlfriend before me. However, I was not his first kiss; I was his first time in bed and pretty much everything else. All of his first time experiences, I had with my first love and I just feel... like he needs to date more before we marry.I've considered offering him a chance at a threesome with me and another woman but ever since he and I told each other we love each other, I can't fathom him even touching another woman, let alone having sex with one. What should I do about these feelings? It's the whole "I hope he doesn't regret marrying me in five years time when he realizes I'm the only woman he will have ever and will ever have sex with" thing.I was never a slut or anything in high school or ever; my fiance is my second and last sexual partner I will ever have and I'm 100% okay with that. I just don't want my fiance regretting anything. So again, what can I do to ease these feelings of fear and ultimately make them go away? Thanks for any (kind) advice!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Suppose your soon to be husband in future regrets not having played the field. So?. People regret things all the time. I regret I only had one child when I wanted more. I regret having taken up smoking and fiI suppose nding hard to quit. I regret not having had a closer relationshio with my father. I regret many things -same as everybody on this planet. Does this mean that I am unhappy and frustrated and obsessing about what I did not have^ Heck no. I prefer to focus on and be grateful for what I do have,
I suspect your real question is not about how your partner will feel, but about what he will do. I suppose you are wondering if the curiosity to try someone new will have the best of him, if he'll try to make up in future for his lack of sexual experiences in the past.
I'd say no. If he loves you and he takes seriously his marriage vows, he won't.
A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 I can understand your worries, however every situation is different. I personally would want to experience more than one person, however your fiance may be different. I have a friend and she and her fiance met when they were 12 - started going out, and now they are 24 and getting married next month! They are both very happy, also my grandparents met at 14, got married and stayed together until my grandad passed away 60 years later.
It sounds like you have a pretty special relationship, and the fact he chose to marry you means he obviously doesn't see a problem with only experiencing things with you.
I've always worried about getting married, in case it doesn't work out, but the only way of knowing is to give it a chance, and it sounds like you two are very much in love, and very happy.
If it still bothers you maybe you could put your mind at rest by talking to him. Be honest about your worries, because it is better to air them now than after you are married!
best of luck, and congratulations :)
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A
female
reader, Cupcake Debbie +, writes (2 May 2010):
One question I wanted to ask is, have you asked your fiance how he feels? I think you are creating a worry unnecessarily. If your fiance believed he should have played the field then I am certain he would not have proposed. Men just don't do that unless their heart is really in it 100% It is clear to me that he does not want any other woman. You are the love of his life and you complete him. Random sex with strangers isn't going to make him happy. You are who makes him happy. Nobody can predict the future. All we can do is enjoy the moment we are in and make the most of every single day. Life is too short not to be as happy as you can be and there is no point in worrying about something that may or may not happy and that hasn't displayed any signs of happening. I wish you all the luck in the world for your wedding day and marriage.
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