A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this is probably a very common question, but I'm just gonna go ahead anyway.I'm afraid that I'll be alone my whole life. I've never had a boyfriend or anything, and I don't think any guy has ever liked me. I'm not very pretty, and I really fat, so I don't think anyone will ever like me.And if you're going to say something about inner beauty, then I can tell you that I also have a horrible personality!And I'm very shy and whenever I have to talk to guys I just blush and get really awkward.And then I have the problem that I'm 3 years ahead in school, so I just turned 17 and all the other kids are 20-21, and I don't know any people my age. Most of my friends are 19-21 and they're all really pretty and have loads of guys chasing after them.I just think I'm going to be alone forever, and I've kind of accepted that fact, but it still makes me sad sometimes. I decided when I was about 12 that I would probably be alone forever, and that I'd just get 20 cats and become the crazy cat lady.I just don't want to be alone forever, but if this goes on, I probably will...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): If you've already decided you're going to be alone, then you will be. Be positive!
Maybe you could work on the things you don't like about yourself. Lose some weight, put on some makeup, buy some clothes that make you feel amazing. Also, go places with your friends. Get yourself out there and get used to being in social situations with them first; that way when the guys start coming around, you are more at ease with them. Ask your friends to help you pick out clothes and makeup-I'm sure they would be thrilled to get to do this with you. I know quite a few people who are on the 'bigger' side (sorry, I don't mean to offend), and they have significant others, so don't let your size hold you back. If you start to feel good about yourself, people will respond to that.
You're only 17. You have a lot of time to turn this around and get what you want. Good luck!
A
female
reader, tjazzy  +, writes (3 December 2009):
I had my first boyfriend at 23, and by them I was already out of the university and working. Don't feel bad, just work on your appearance, your manners and your confidence and get busy. When you are busy and out there, guys will notice you. How confidently you do whatever you do will determine if the right guys will approach you or not. But if you sit around all day with a fake smile on your face waiting for guys to come and say hello, they'll probably feel you're a needy person and run a mile. Love yourself, develop your abilities and do things you enjoy. Don't frown, or grumble a lot, have a firm handshake and look people in the eye when you talk to them. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 December 2009):
Of course you won't be alone for ever. You're 17. That's young. I had my first girlfriend when I was 17, then didn't have one for three and a half years.
A man looks for a woman who is confident in herself. You need more than anything to be confident and happy for yourself. Men are terrified of women who are insecure. It sounds as if you're suffering from depression, so I really would suggest counselling so you can get all your feelings out and understand them. You will not be alone. But you do need to build up your esteem and happiness so you can attract a good guy, not one who will hurt you.
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