A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:3 years ago my ex dumped me for someone else. At the time I was heartbroken and it took me months to get over it. Now, 3 years later, he's dumped her and we have started meeting up occasionally and I have had sex with him a couple of times. He has told me that he hates his ex and will never get back with her and I do believe him. But we are not officially an item, I have only started being in contact with him and meeting up with him again for the past 2 weeks. The thing is, I can feel all the old feelings I had for him coming back and Im really scared Im gonna get hurt. Im scared I could be a rebound, or if I did get into a relationship with him again he will dump me for somone else again. My friends say Im mad to even be talking to him again and yes I admit that I shuld be making him chase me but I cant - he has this hold over me. I know most people would tell me to walk away and forget about him, but that will be so hard cos I will always be thinking what if? what if I did stay around and we got back together and I were really happy? I dont know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): Hmmm, only 2 weeks of contact after two years and already you have had sex a couple of times? Knowing that an ex (you) will be more likely to sleep with him since you have done that before comes to mind.....and he is telling you he hates the girl he left you for? That is not a really great indication of his maturity level or his character.
If you don't want to get hurt again, take the power position, he dumped you, now you are letting him have sex with you again without a commitment or without being an item as you call it.....perhaps to get what you want you have to be the one to set the ground rules and take care of yourself by setting personal boundaries. Agree to date him without the sex, act as if you are worth something, you are expensive, you are a prize and he can have sex with you again when he is ready to buy you (a matter of speaking)...when he is ready to stop fooling around with other women.
I'd be careful here, it may be that you are old reliable and he knows it....and is taking advantage, make him prove his feelings for you.
A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (1 June 2008):
 With the history you two have you know you are taking a chance with him, you have to ask yourself if it's a chance worth taking?
He could well be on the rebound you know the old saying better the devil you know!
I suggest you take things real slow and if you feel at any time he might be playing or using you back off....
Unlike a new relationship you are well aware of what he is capable of, if you are falling for him again you have to ask yourself if you are willing to go through all the heartache again should it all go wrong.
Do you think he feels the same way as you do?
Don't let the same match burn you twice!
Good luck.
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