A
female
age
36-40,
*weetnshy
writes:I am really shy when it comes to sex. I like being the submissive one. I don't like be dominant. This was fine, until recently. I am dating this great guy and he wants me to open up and stop being shy during sex. I can understand that he wants me to enjoy it as much as he does. I really want to, I am just really shy. I am shy about going down on him too. I am afraid that what I do he will either not like, or that I would be doing it wrong. I am afraid this is going to come between us. What can I do to stop this serious shyness and please my man before he leaves?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): Well I have the same problem.(i have only had sex my bf and the same is for him) Im have been with my bf for 3 years and i am actually very open. It was no problem with me going down on him. but i get nervous when he does it to me. i hate the lights to be on, i have to close my eyes, and i hate when he wants me to talk back to him. it got to the point that i almost cried when he wanted me to just open my eyes and talk. I have tried to be more controling but i just cant. i thought i was the only woman with this issue
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 Confidence in the bedroom grows with the relationship the more you know each others body the more relaxed it gets.
What you need to try and remember is that this is supposed to be fun so talk to each other about what you like and don't like, what you are worried about and work through it together you can guide each other.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, myp +, writes (23 June 2007):
 Talk to him about it. He should make an effort to make you comfortable about your self during sex, and vice-versa. If your feeling shy then there should be encouragement.
-Myesha
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007): Firstly, you can't be what you're not, it will be artificial. But you can infer his likes and adopt them or mould them to suit your landscape.
You can suggest him to vary places. Can buy special clothes, more appealing, not uncouth. You can surprise him with tenderness when he doesn't expect it, when he's using the computer for example. Or whisper at his ear what you just told us, or face him with a large blouse, nothing underneath. There's no point in worrying he won't like it, you don't have the map of his thoughts as he doesn't have yours - I'm sure you didn't like 100% everything he did but you appreciated the effort, and possibly hinted on how to make it better. And by communicating, you can learn together big part of the map, rivers, lakes...
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