A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help! I am a 20 year old virgin and not sure about losing my virginity yet. My problem arises when I'm around my boyfriend-whenever I'm around him, I get massive sexual urges. I mean REALLY strong urges. I just want to touch him all over and please him, but I'm afraid of what the reprocussions of losing my virginity will be. Is there any way I can do this without any sort of penetration, or oral sex? thank you
View related questions:
oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): if you are not sure then you should wait a little more because there is always a time when you will feel ready
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010): Usually I am the type to tell women to hold off. But it sounds like you're in a good relationship where he drives you crazy: passionately, lovingly and longingly. Love and passion like this doesn't happen all the time... so, given that you're old enough, and in a relationship, I say go for it!! Plan a romantic get away, at a nice Inn with a fireplace and champagne, massage oil, and flowers. Have a nice dinner, and alone time. And enjoy yoursleves. You're only young (adult) once... And it sounds liek you've waited, and that you've both been patient. Enjoy eachother. It's one of natures greatest gifts!! (But only if it's the right person, right time -- and I think you've got that covered, in my view!!).
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): To adamantine, "Any kind of penetration of the vagina by the penis will break the hymen if there is one still intact. It doesn't matter how deep the penis goes. AND, oral sex IS different than kissing. It is a much more intimate and personal act and is considered sex, hence ORAL SEX." ---Not true, because some girls have hymens (or cherries) that are way farther than just inside, which you can find by gently feeling inside without pushing, and some girls, such as real athletic ones have really hard to break hymens. Yes, I do know this even though I'm a guy, from experience with girls, so it's true. And oral sex is a phrase and an activity, so pretending that kissing, biting or licking is having sex with a vagina and going to break her hymen, which is the only proof she'll ever have of not being a virgin is absurd. Unless she can pop her cherry while giving him oral or letting him give her oral, it's no more unpure than a hand job. I'm so sure she's never fingered herself while masterbating before..and I'm so sure she's never masterbated either, while trying to remain a virgin. No, I'm not small in size, but I know from various different girls that the hymen isn't right upon the inside of the lips, so unless they're being pretty aggressive with their fingers or they have better than a Gene Simmons tongue, they won't pop her cherry with either. Yes, I agree it's possible, but if they go lightly, and not too deep, it won't happen, unless they're getting too aggressive in there. I understand what you mean by the phrase, but I feel it's highly misconstrued and that the only way to truely lose virginity as a girl is by breaking the hymen. As far as using his penis, as long as it's missionary, and he only just enters through the labya, without going more than a couple inches and not being aggressive or thrusting too hard, it will be fine.
...............................
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 I'm sorry to chime in like this, but Puzzlesolver, you are clearly misinformed. Any kind of penetration of the vagina by the penis will break the hymen if there is one still intact. It doesn't matter how deep the penis goes. AND, oral sex IS different than kissing. It is a much more intimate and personal act and is considered sex, hence ORAL SEX.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): As far as I know, popping your cherry is the only way to lose your virginity, not oral sex. Oral sex is no different than kissing their mouth or neck, only you're kissing a different part of their body..big deal.. So yeah, ..let him finger you, but not too deep, because he could go to far and pop your cherry that way too, and don't let him stick any toys up there either, or the same will happen. He can do oral, you can do oral, you can 69, where you both do oral at the same time, he can just rub your clit and drive you crazy doing that, without popping your cherry.. You can give him a hand job, blow job, finger his ass, let him finger your ass, eat his ass out, let him eat your ass out, you can kiss, suck each other's nipples and lick and kiss everywhere on the body, pretty much,..maybe he likes his toes sucked, or when you play with his bag? The trouble with going and playing too much, is you'll be even way more tempted to lose your virginity, so be very careful if you go too wild.. You can also try safe sex, and where he just goes partly in and fucks you, so he doesn't pop your cherry..then you're still good to go. Remember, orgasming isn't losing your virginity, so let yourself go if you really want, and don't be afraid, as long as you don't let anything go to deep into your vagina, so you don't pop the cherry. Some girls experience bleeding more than once, where the cherry wasn't completely popped the first time, so don't worry if it happens a couple of times. Mostly, remember to have safe sex, and you'll do fine. Don't let his sperm get close to your pussy, or it can seriously impregnate you just by getting to close to the inside of it. Good luck and have fun!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): Is there any way you can do what? Pleasure him? sure- give him a hand job. That will likely work for a day, maybe a week... then you'll both want more.
What's it going to take for you to get to a point of losing your virginity? Marriage? A better relationship? Time? What's the tipping point? You want to turn 21? You wrote a chastity pledge at 14?
If you're in a stable relationship, love each other, can find the right place and time, you might want to consider starting to have a healthy loving sex life. These are the learning years that are going to shape the rest of your life. You need to learn how to give and receive pleasure as part of a healthy loving relationship.
The reactions you are describing is HEALTHY... it's millions of years of genetic programming that's saying "hey, I can reproduce and I better do so before a 10,000# lizard eats me..." OK, the dinosaurs are no longer a threat, and you do NOT need to start having baby's before you die at the OLD AGE of 28- so take precautions and be ready- take your time, but not 10 more years... good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 No, you don't have to have sex at all. There are other ways of enjoying sexual pleasures. If you're turned off by oral sex, there are some ways to make it more enjoyable and "safe" like buying flavored condoms. There's both "dry" and "wet" rubbing, where you rub up against each other with or without clothes and that's still pleasureable. Touching is always fun too :D Erotic massages are fun, sexy, and allow to show how both lust and affection. You guys can even role-play a little, dress up for each other. There's nothing wrong with touching each other and exploring the bodies of one another. But remember, tell your boyfriend how you feel about your virginity and be very sure that he understands that ok? Otherwise, things can get out of hand.
...............................
|
