A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dated my husband for 6 years before he proposed to me and now we've been married for 5 years. I got very bad experience with my MIL and my husband younger sister (she's my age) they interfered big time in our relationship to a point I absolutely don't want to have a relationship with them after were married, my husband was a huge mama's boy that every fight we have he don't discuss it with me (we live together after a year of dating) he would call his mom for advice and his mom and sister would show up and tell me to grow up. They manage to manipulate him to leave me after 41/2 years of dating his mom wanted him to move back in with her. He ignored me for two weeks before he called and apologized so we got back together again and this time we start talking about marriage, he told me EVERYTHING how his mom and sister advised him to leave me and don't EVER think about gettin back with me. Now we're married with 3 kids and I absolutely refuse and afraid to get close to my inlaws. Everyone that knows my MIL thinks she's a big time Christian but behind closed doors she was a bully. Now my husband has changed ALOT he always took my side if his mom or sister try to complain about me, they told him they don't know him anymore and I'm a huge part changing him. Now that my husband is on my side my MIL is trying to be friendly with me that it's making me very uncomfortable and awkward, I know she's faking it and she's trying so hard but I can't allow myself to get bullied by her again! I'm so afraid she's going to break our marriage if I get close to her. My husband is ignoring her so she can try to reach out to me and its driving her crazy, we only visit her if I wanted to.......which I don't! I'm like dramatized by her and how she used to controlled my husband like a puppet. Should I give a woman like this a chance? Deep down I have zero respect for her and everytime she tired to be sweet I always think about the past and keep reminding myself of how she treated me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2016): Been there...Done that. Do not give her the chance to break up your family. She has already shown you her true colors so please do not fall for it. My mil was the worst bitch on the planet. I gave her third fourth and fifth chances but she always reverted back to her old bitch self. She was also a so called christan. My husbands sisters were the same way. It was so weird as they treated all the sil like that. It also affected my kids..the mil hated them because they were part of me but the sisters kids were golden...sisters kids got vacations and many gifts from grandma my kids got zip. Please really think hard before you bring a person that you know for a fact does not like you into their life. Sometimes it is better just not to let toxic people back into your life no matter who they are. Like someone before me said life is too short.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2016): Crikey! I can't believe anyone would advocate trying this one on for size! I may be wrong, but in your post she comes across as very vindictive and controlling. Her and her daughter stopping at practically nothing to control her son. Now she can no longer control him, the only way she can get at him is through you. If you are going to try this, I would say hang on for a very bumpy ride.If you don't want to do this and don't have to, then I would strongly recommend you don't.When someone had behaved like she has, I would find it very difficult to believe that she has changed dramatically, especially just as her son has closed off any contact and you are the only available source.I smell a rat. And a pretty big one.You said you know she's faking it. That thinking about doing this makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward. You think she might try to break your marriage and bully you? Then don't go anywhere near her! This is strong stuff for you to say about her, so I imagine you aren't saying it without good reason. Trust your gut and your gut sounds like it's screaming NO!!If your husband has given up on her after all these years, then surely this is an indicator of what kind of person she is.Personally I wouldn't go anywhere near this situation again. Life's too short.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 January 2016):
 I think you should give her a chance, it may be uncomfortable at first, but she should be involved in your husbands life and your children are her grandchildren. But be clear with her what you will and wont tolerate and just take it small steps at a time.
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A
male
reader, hany  +, writes (14 January 2016):
 Hi
it's the common problem in all the world
in this situation she feels like you shows up from nowhere and stole her son from her
but what's obvious here that your mother-in-law could cause for you problems if you have a relationship with her or not
but what about giving her a chance?
at the beginning things will be difficult for you but after a while things will change
Bernard Shaw once said " Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything "
so I suggest that you put aside what that woman did in the past and try to forgive her, make a new start with her, buy her a present
but while you do a relationship with her be careful and at the beginning don't sit with her alone or visit her alone and make sure there's always there a witness like your husband or someone else, until she proves her good intentions
I wish things will be better soon
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (14 January 2016):
 Forgive but don't forget. Trust but verify. As a christian it is your belief that people can and do change. you can give her the chance to prove it to you, but, you need to be cautious and protect yourself.
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