A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 25 year old guy. When I was young my parents weren't very supportive of me. They questioned every decision I took and every action I did. They were abusive. Nevertheless I was thankful of them for being there for me, for at least paying my expenses. I was on my own after I turned 18 and have been since then. I took up part time jobs to go through my college and after my graduation got a full time job. I never had many friends. And whatever few I made, they turned out to be backstabbers who were only using me. I always had trust issues. I always doubted being in a relationship and never had one.When I was 23, I met this girl, let's call her Ana(not her real name). I won't go into how I met her or how I came to know about her past. She was 20, but there was something about her. She was mentally retarded. She was abandoned by her parents. She had an abusive childhood. I had seen burn and cut marks on her hands and legs. She had no one to take care. She was so innocent. We became friends. I had sympathy for her, somehow I felt she would be one person, a friend, who would not betray me. We struck very good. I felt a sense of responsibility for her and asked her to move in with me. This caused a further strain in my relationship with my parents. They didn't want me to be with her. When I didn't comply to their demands, they disowned me. I was left heartbroken but Ana gave me strength. Her presence is what made me strong.With whatever little money I made, I made sure to keep her happy. I felt happy taking care of her and having her by my side. I had fallen into a platonic love with her and she loved me back too.A year ago something happened. She was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctors gave her a year and a half to live. They said she had it in her for a long time- at least for 5 years. Things became clearer as to why her parents had abandoned her. I felt my world tearing apart. An innocent soul was dying. She had never done anything wrong then why should this happen to her? I started losing faith in God. But I knew I had to help her keep her faith. I haven't told her yet about it. I don't know if she would understand if I told her. I want to preserve her happiness till the last moment. I want to see her smile. Right now I'm crying as I write this. I can't stop my tears from falling. I'm having a hard time hiding my emotions from her and putting up a smile. I don't want her to see my pain. The only person I have ever loved with all my heart is withering away. Oh God! Since the day I met her, I couldn't imagine a moment not being with her. What would I do without her? I don't have anyone in this world without her. Ana is everything for me now.Today Ana is lying on the bed, very weak. I can still see the love she has for me in her eyes. I think despite her disability she understands things. I know one day maybe I will open my eyes and see her gone. But I don't know what will happen after that.I know that nothing much can be done, but please, I ask anyone here, what should I do? I feel weak not to be able to do anything about her. Please help me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2016): Thank you (Agony aunts above) for supporting me through this. I really appreciate the kind words and help that you have given me. It is really inspiring. I wish Ana would know you were there thinking about her.
I will surely try to come back here and tell what I feel. I would always remember your words. I read "Footprints in the Sand" and it was really amazing.
Thank you again for understanding me.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 January 2016):
 This is such a heartbreaking story, you where both so very alone in the world and yet you both found happiness in each other. That should be celebrated.
It is a cruel world, and it seems so unfair that she needs to go, but you really need to accept this. Will it be hard? Off course? But it will get easier in time. You will feel lonely, but you will need to talk it through with someone. Your life will change, and it will be a hard thing to come to terms with but if you remain strong you will be able to do this.
What you are doing for Ana is nothing short off amazing, you are her world at the minute, thank god you found her before it was to late.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2016): I cried as I read your post...
So sorry to hear about Ana's diagnosis and what it means to both of you.
You're doing the right thing letting her go on in happiness until the end, (not telling her because she would not understand), being there for her, but afterwards, and during, you keep coming here where everyone will support and encourage you. You are not alone. It is hard to trust, but it only needs an opportunity. When we've been hurt or backstabbed so many times our reaction is to close contact with the world but then you will lose opportunities for the Ana's of this world.
You are on a very difficult journey, stay strong, don't lose faith as that is all we have. Read "Footprints in the Sand", God is with you, always.
As for Ana, be there with her until the end, just you being there is all she needs. You will smile through the tears, and when she is gone, you will look after YOU for her, it's what she would want. To see you smile, thrive, live, be happy, eventually.
You mentioned your faith, so I will repeat, stay close to your beliefs. See a Pastor/Minister, anyone who can listen when you need to pour your heart out....
Blessings
E
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