A
female
age
30-35,
*irgin18
writes:Ok so this is the thing, I have been in a serious relationship with this guy for 5 months already and we both have agreed that not only do we enjoy each others company but that our relationship is in good grounds so far. He is great and makes me feel so special, that (along with many other thins)is why from a while back I have been trying to figure out how we both feel about each other, I recently reached the conclusion that I have helplessly fallen in love with him but I do not know if he shares the same feelings for me. I know he cares about me, sometimes when he talks about the future he says stuff like 'we' instead of 'I' which in my opinion is a good thing. We have gone past the whole meeting families and closest friends and we both get along pretty well with each others families so that is also a plus. He is very attentive and cares about my feelings, and sometimes when he looks at me he stays quiet and smiling for a while, which before used to freak me out because it feels as if he is about to say something but he never does. I do not know what to do in this situation, we have talked about our past relationships and he has admitted to have been in love a couple of times before but this is the first time I have fallen in love with someone, its such a strong feeling and I am so scared that he could just break my heart and In think that is one of the reasons I have not told him. I wanted to wait for him to say it first but I do not know how long it is going to take him, so I wanted to tell him now to get over it but I am afraid he might not say it back. Also I'm so afraid of freaking him out and losing him if I say 'I love you', HELP please!Hints on us: I am 19years old and he is 24years old, and this is my longest relationship so far but I think most of his serious relationship, which haven't been to many according to what he told me, have gone past the year mark. He is my first but I think we have a great sex life.
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female
reader, virgin18 +, writes (10 April 2011):
virgin18 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I said I love you and He said it back without a moment of doubt! thanks for your thoughts on the matter guys!
A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (9 December 2010):
Sorry for my "male-centic" answer but I thought it might be a good idea to look at it from the other side.
Don't worry too much if you accidently let it out as mistakes can be corrected. Just be very feminine about it. Apoloigize profusly or say something in your own way or what ever way you need to. My old ex used to cry and I would console her to the point that I would forget what she said. Then she would get this huge grin on her face and we would go and do something fun together. (I should have married that one. Ah the ignorance of youth)
If it does slip just don't leave it hanging. Make it a relationship growing, not a relationship problem moment.
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A
female
reader, virgin18 +, writes (9 December 2010):
virgin18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCerberus_Raphael thank you very much, and you are right when you told me to really think how he would react, I do not think we would run run away from me but he might step back for a bit to grasp it. I know he probably is not ready to say it just yet but he makes me feel so special and do thing that I love that make me think he is in love with me. The dilemma here is whether to tell him now or wait for him to say it first and I am so turn because I agree with 11muds11 when he says "I'm one of those people who believes you should never tell a guy "I love you" first. A guy responds to actions not words." because it is a huge step, and for the longest time I have, even with my past relationships I promised myself I would never be the girl to say I love you first but it was easy before because I haven't never been in love until now with him, and I want to tell him but I don't want to at the same time. Thanks for your advise its good to hear what other guys have to say about the manner.
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A
female
reader, virgin18 +, writes (9 December 2010):
virgin18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for this 11muds11, its good to hear a guy's perspective on this matter. I also believe that most of the times is better to let the guy say it first for the same reasons you have mentioned. I want to try my best to let him say it first since I do think he might not be ready not only to say it but to hear it coming from me too. But you know we girls get impatient with that kind of stuff and I am at a stage right now where it might slip from my lips one day without even thinking about it.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 You must know how he would react. Would he really run away from you if you tell him "I love you"? Personally I think he might actually feel the same way anyway so telling him would just be a huge weight off of both of your shoulders.
You could either tell him now or you could wait a little longer just to make sure that you feel the way you do. Who knows? If you say it and he feels that he is not sure yet, just wait, do not panic. Do not worry. Let him know how you feel. It is a big step but it is nothing to be afraid of.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, 11muds11 +, writes (9 December 2010):
I'm one of those people who believes you should never tell a guy "I love you" first. A guy responds to actions not words. So show him, don't tell him.
At the same time we're guys. So we use actions not words. If you're really serious about him it's time to use those subtle feminine wiles. Just like that great present you really want, it's time to give him nice subtle hints that you might want him to say it. Just like you natually did when you first slept with him.
But don't at all be overt. Guys hate when girls are not subtle with things like this. It's very "non-feminine" so to speak. It then becomes a type of nagging and nobody likes that.
But you might also be right and he's not there yet. Many guys feel that saying "I love you" is a huge step. It's one of the biggest promises you can make. And just like a marriage proposal, it's him who teels you, not the other way around. So slow down and be patient. and show him you love him in subtle ways too. Don't say it, until he asks you first.
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