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age
26-29,
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writes: I know im only 13, but im afraid of being alone forever. I havent had a father in my life since my parents got divorced when I was 6. I dont have any brothers, so I dont know whats it like to be around men. My mom says that all men are pigs and that if they havent cheated on their wife/girlfriend, then they at least have thought about it. Even my older sister said that I will never have a boyfriend. My sister is tan and thin and everywhere we go everbody stares at her, but she also has a great personality that everbody loves. I hate to be jealous of my sister but sometimes being around her makes my flaws stand out more than they usually do. Im also afraid of men because of everything I have been told about them, but I know there are good guys out there but I feel like I just dont deserve it. I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life, so what can I do?
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 You seem very smart and mature for your age, and you seem to be more mature than your mother and sister.
If all men were pigs, what would that make women??? Isn't that more of an insult to women? That would make women pig lovers.
Never take advice or listen to people that are driven by hate. They will distroy your life. Look at your mom's life.
I was brought up by my grandmother from 9 months old. No mother or father, no siblings. Been down the same road as you. But one thing my grandmother always told me...NEVER hate anyone! Don't give it a chance to enter my life.
Jealousy will lead to hate, and you are too smart for that.
You said it yourself "she also has a great personality that everbody loves." So, what wrong with your personality? Let people see that you have one too.
As for been alone...There are 8 billion people on this planet, so anyone who say you will be alone, is a fool.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): guys. i dont understand them either. scared that i'll get cheated, divorced, etc.. but im still hoping there are a few guys out there who are nice.. ur just 13 14? dont think about such things now.. make friends.. and have fun.. will think about the future later. right now have fun.. make friends.. don't do anything stupid.. well about ur sister.. she is the way she is.. doesnt mean u are any badder, just be confident.. dont feel like ur any worse.. trust me , in the end everyone wishes they had lived their life with no concern about others.. just have hobbies interests, think about what is interesting to you.. like music.. reading etc.. and think about what you want to be... if u like something.. do it... if u want to sing.. take singing classes.. once u have ppl around u who think like you... and with similar interests ull feel at home and ull feel good.
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 I'll tell you what I tell guys who feel they will always be alone: every single one of your ancestors throughout all of history has managed to reproduce. It's in your blood.
So, the instincts and potential are both there. What you need to do is move past your anxieties and hang-ups. I can't help much with anxieties - that's something you have to do with some trustworthy real-life friends.
But as for your hang-ups, just mentally prepare yourself for your mother and sister to disapprove of every guy you bring home. Worse, they might approve of the wrong sort of guys. You need to either trust your own judgment, or seek out a mature, trustworthy woman to serve as a surrogate parent to introduce guys to.
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male
reader, Alwayswondering +, writes (10 August 2010):
There are good people out there. However, I am always wondering if there is anybody good out there. I see them all the time, but they are taken. This proves the exist! Your only 13, you have oodles of time!
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female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (10 August 2010):
Oh Sweetie, you are only 13 and you will grow into a beautiful woman one day. but it all depends on you? you sound very in telligent! don't be jealous of your sister, be proud of her. you don't want to be her, be yourself. and stop focusing on the bad and look at the good stuff! and stop picking yourself apart and find the good things about you and know it's normal to feel the way you do its apart of growing up and learning new things do you like sports? or have any hobbies? and im sorry that your mom says that she is just bitter about her divorcee, and sad and that sometimes makes them react in a different way (nagative)
but thats her not you. and i know its your mother and you would like her to be happy and there for you and be positive in your life! give her some time! but in the mean time focus on you and not all men are bad. but also remember we live in a world that you have to be careful because you are so young, and what you are going through that you can make wrong judgement calls! because you do feel alone! and you will talk to any stranger for attention! because of your home life! so please beware and don't just trust anybody ok. so in the mean time have fun! and enjoy you and your friends!! im here'e if you want to chat.
Take care of u!
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Just ignore your sister, you don't need her approval to realize that you ARE special, and that you deserve good things! Don't ever settle for anything less, you deserve the best of everything.
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Oh Doll I feel for you the way you are feeling. Your Mum has obviously been badly hurt and she is giving you the wrong information because of it. Sure there are men out there who hurt women and there are just as many who love their woman with all their hearts and would never dream of hurting them. Ignore your sister and believe that you ARE beautiful, you ARE precious, you ARE valued and you WILL BE loved by someone when the time is right.
Life seems very mysterious when you are at your age but if you can manage to let it flow it will all work out I promise.
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Wow, it is sad that you feel this way at 13, but I bet a lot of kids feel this way, even those that have loving parents...you are at a tough age where you are trying to transition from being a totally dependent child into a young teen on the verge of adulthood. It's a scarey proposition to venture out into the world and create your own identity and make your own choices and decisions.
I am sorry that you lost your Dad at such a young age, that does make it tougher for you as far as learning to trust men and that might make you a little more vulnerable to having the bad men out there take advantage of you.
But see you are way ahead of a lot of girls your age because you have that insight about yourself so you know to be very selective and very careful about who you let close...you just need to learn to tell the difference between those good guys and the not so good guys and the good news is, you can learn that! Where a lot of girls never do. Your Mom has a terrible attitude about men but realize that is coming from her own hurt and is not the real truth, there are plenty of good people men included.
Since you don't have any brothers (I didn't have any either) it is really great to get involved in co-ed activities like soft ball leagues, or volley ball, or biking or sailing, anything that puts guys and gals together in a group activity is a safe and fun way to get to learn about the opposite sex and how they behave and how to carry on a conversation with them.
Take care.
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