A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am an 18 year old virgin. I am absolutely terrified to lose my virginity or do any other sexual things, because i've never been put in that situation. I need to get over my fear soon, because i'm beginning to shy away from the opposite sex altogether in fear of being pressured to do things I am afraid to do. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Aw, sweet.
Could you explain more specifically your fears on the subject?
Is it men in general that you fear? Are you worried it will hurt or not be pleasurable for you? Is it trust- related; are you fearful of physical closeness causing you to become too attached to someone, too vulnerable to hurt?
Are you uncomfortable right now with the idea of being naked in front of another? Do you think you will be negatively judged because of your lack of sexual experience?
It could be a lot of things, and we're here to help on whatever the root of this may be (don't worry, any of the qualms I just listed and any others can be settled.)
Know, sweet, that the decision to become more intimate with someone seems to be made lightly by a lot of people, but a whole lot of other people consider it pretty momentous. Don't feel the need to do Anything until you're really ready, and even then with someone you wholly trust and feel all ease with. For some, sex is a casual hobby, for others it's the most special thing that is meant to be shared with only the Special.
Awaiting a followup, if you'd share it,
Tante Victoire
A
female
reader, kaykaykitten +, writes (27 November 2010):
Sex is nothing to be scared of. Its nothing that should worry you, or have you pulling away from the opposite sex. It seems like you have it in the front of your mind. You'll never get anywhere fretting over it. Things will happen in their own good time. Associate yourself with respectable people and you shouldn't have a fear of being forced into something. Make your thoughts and feelings clear and you'll have no problems. First and foremost though, relax. Take a breather, and live by the moment.
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A
female
reader, jigsaw3010 +, writes (27 November 2010):
i was in that position about two years ago when i was your age. i was terrified. once i dated my bf for about a month we slowly started trying things. once you find someone talk to them about it. be open and honest with the person. if they are really a man then they will understand and take things slowly. but trust me once you try it, you will be fine and it will be nothing but a thing. and dont shy away from the oppostie sex, yea some of them are jerks but that is no excuse once you run into a good one things will just fall into place and it will be natural. and you meet someone when you are not looking so dont rush anything. just be young and free and embrace life now. dont worry about it. and talking to your mom or sister is really healthy for you too. it maybe akward at first but trust me that is a big step into adult hood. i went through it with my mom and my sister and believe me it brought us closer together because now im able to go to my mom for absolutely anything now and im not shy and its not akward. its life and you can learn a lot form your mom and your sister if shes older.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): You need to talk to your mother. I know most people would think that you dont need your mom once you turn into an adult but that is a lie you do need her for some things. Things like this for example...
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