A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In my country, relationships are really hard to be understood by foreign people. And that is because of our religion, culture and education. it's just full of weirdness lol. I won't tell you about how it became so complicated but just try to understand my problem here. I've been in a Long Distance Relationship for 7 months now, and it's fantastic. He comes to see me for about a whole week once in a month. We're deeply in love with each other. the thing is: we've never kissed and it's a good sign in my culture (dont ask why). In morocco, the less you give and the less you show to your man the better the relationship is gonna be and last for a long time and could lead to a marriage. The more you give and show, chances are he'll never think of u seriously. So physical cantact ends when he takes my hand, hold me tight or hug me. that's all we allow to each other. But the thing is: as much as I want it to stay "healthy" and "clean" I just can't stop fantasizing about him! From the minute I met him all I ever wanted to do is to kiss him and makeout for hours! It's like this huge animal inside me that wants to get free and I'm holding it hardly. I don't know if I should keep on holding it or just letting go. I'm afraid it'll ruin everything. Help!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (11 March 2012):
 I suggest you move to Sweden or Honduras, where you and your man-friend can extricate yourselves from "religious" dogmas!!!Good luck.... and keep safe...
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (11 March 2012):
 In traditional societies, you don't have sex, you keep yourself and your boyfriend "pure". That's how things are where you live, so you have to do what other people do. Go out a lot with him, hold hands and talk. People have done this for centuries and a lack of sex doesn't kill them. You do not want him to think less of you and you don't want people to talk about you, so you will have to control these urges.
What your feeling is normal. Just make sure you don't do anything about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): We're from casablanca and we both are open minded and modern. I know he won't reject me. He told me all about his exs and that he had sex with them more than once and still loved them back then, but it didn't work out obviously or he would not be with me today. I dont want to loose my virginity until mariage and I told him that. I'm just afraid I'll just be one of those girls he went out with and had fun with.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 March 2012):
 I know North Africa , and North Africans, enough to say :
you know the answer. You need to keep that animal on a tight leash. Unleashing it would probably cost you more than you are willing to pay.
Many things have changed and improved for women in your country ( or in Tunisia, Egypt etc... ) but there's still a long way to go, some mentalities are deeply rooted and are hard to change.
Young North Africans have become less judgemental, more accepting, more "modern"... when they live abroad or when they deal with foreign women. Like, if they see a French or Italian girl that wears a miniskirt or smokes in public, they won't bat a lid,they will accept that it's the way they were raised and it does not mean that they are bad , promiscuous or morally loose. The same should go for Moroccan girls right ? Yeah right. Good luck.
Of course it depends a lot from your social and geographical environment. I have seen the female college students in Tunis, they are a bit more covered up than Europeans, but that's all , they go out and about , by themselves or with boys, and - I am told- they do the same things sexually like their European sisters. Then, just move south maybe 30 km. ... and it's all another story.
I guess in Morocco it is the same, you can't do in, say, Taroudant the same you'd do in Casablanca.
In fact , I don't know where you live, but in some places even just holding hands in public would be considered very risque', very forward- you must know that already.
It also depends from the guy and his personal opinions, I must say that so far Moroccans haven't impressed me with being big supporters of woman's lib, and sexual freedom of expression. Chances are that if you'd take the initiative, you 'd totally freak him out . He may reject you, or judge you very negatively. In fact, he'd probably
be glad to take what you've got to offer him, - then he would dump you and he'd go blab with all his friends , bragging about his conquest in details , after which they all would be after you like dogs in heat.
Of course mine is a very generic advice, it depends from the man, if he has travelled or studied abroad, if he is a very fervent Muslim or is not religious at all, etc.. But in general , I 'd say no no no, keep that panther on a tight leash, don' t take sexual initiatives, and only respond to his if you know him well, trust him enough, and are already formally engaged.
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