A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I feel like I am very needy and insecure when I meet a guy. I recently met a guy about a month or 2 ago. He's awesome, we started of great he told me I was always putting a smile on his face. We went on our first date and we had a lot of fun. But I've been noticing that he's kind of losing interest because I believe its my fault because in my past relationship, my ex boyfriend was a total jerk always used to tell me I was ugly and that guys were just gonna use me for sex. I started to be that girl that worries why he doesnt text as quick or why he stopped being romantic. I feel like hes probably talking to someone else but doesnt want to tell me. I asked him if he wanted something serious with me and he told me he did but that he was scared to have a gf at the moment. I dont want to lose him but I think he's fed up with me always asking him if hes talking to someone else, and the fact that i dont really go out because my parents dont let me. Im 21 thats why and my family comes from a very strict background. Please help and tell mewhat I can DO to not lose him
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 April 2013):
If he went on dates with you and then said he's not ready for a relationship you might have already lost him, because either he realized he wasn't into you or he realized you weren't going to be used for sex.
For future reference don't ask a guy if he wants something serious with you! You need to learn tact... How to make things more natural. What you did in a way is force him to make a decision about your relationship before he had enough information to do so.
Trust me, if he wants a serious relationship you won't have to coerce it out of him.
If you want to try and salvage things you have to stop being needy. Try to only contact him when you have something important to say, such as asking him out or something... This will make him wonder what you're up to instead of knowing that what you're up to is wondering what HE'S up to.
The reality of the situation is that you're probably better off letting this one go. If he's losing interest this quick you're just not right for each other. It's better to find that out sooner than later.
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