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female
age
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anonymous
writes:To make a long story shorter.. I met Brac about twelve years ago in a chat room. He was my friend that listened to all my guy issues. Was there for me all the time.. He is getting his masters degree soon, but when I met him he didn't have that in mind yet but had a great job, most people would only dream about. I worked as a photographer, then flower shop, so I felt like this guy was not for me, I tried setting him up with different friends of mine I thought was better suited for him. Nothing worked, and then one day he said, "Why don't you go out with me"? I agreed, and from the moment I met him there was definitely this wow of an attraction for him. He was fun,smart and sexy.. Well we dated for a couple of years but all the while he said he was not able to raise anyone elses kids, just being honest and saying that he couldn't handle it. I was upset but tried to deal with it. I mentioned this to my sister and she said I should dump him, so I did. We have kept in touch for nine years and he and I both realize we still love each other, and that will never go away. We are both married to others, neither one of us want to hurt our spouses. I love my husband more like a good friend now. We had been together for six years and got married finally. He asked me in front of my mom, brother and sister so I felt put on the spot, and said yes. I wish I had said no now. We have been married since the end of July and we have only been intimate four times. He always has an excuse, too tired... I am sick of it, I knew he was like this but I thought it would somehow get better, it has gotten worse, He acts as if sex is dirty and I have something wrong with me for wanting it. I am just so unsure what to do. Please be kind in your response. p.s I have not ever cheated physically on my husband, but mentally, yes.. The bible says that if the husband or wife withholds from the other, they are just asking for infidelity to occur. thank you..
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am not using the bible to cheat. I have not cheated, but I know that the bible says that what he is doing is pushing me away, and can cause me to feel unloved. This can lead to cheating. I even sent him a whole article on it to his email. He read it and never would talk about it.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (28 April 2013):
 If you are not happy and fulfilled in your marriage then you should leave if you can. As for the other guy...well he is married and its far harder for a man to leave a wife rather than a wife to leave a husband so the odds are not in your favour.
There are no guarantees and you could end up old and alone. Using the bible as a justification to cheat is a little offensive. Cheating is wrong whether there is sex or not. If you are mising the sex, then divorce your husband and find someone else...it's that simple.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 April 2013):
Well, I agree with your last statement. But I think your love for your ex has more to do with your dissatisfaction with your husband than anything.
Maybe you were put on the spot, but that's a horrible excuse. Honestly, I don't have any sympathy for you there. Maybe you and your husband should go to couple's counseling to try and see eye to eye and learn how to communicate effectively.
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