A
female
age
36-40,
*pecialk022
writes:i'm literally at a loss for what to do. i've been talking to my brothers best friend, who is his college roomate. Im younger than both of them by a year. We had a thing that lasted about 3-4 weeks, although nothing official. things were great, like we had so much fun together but we both did some stupid things like me talking to my ex and telling him somethings because i was unsure of what i wanted and he was always tlking to this other girl and the whole thing started alot of drama. but the whole time we still flirted and stuff. so they ended things about 3 weeks ago and now me and him are talking again and things are going really well but hes leaving to go home tomorrow for about 4 weeks then we are working at the same place this summer. im not sure if i should get involved again or not. i dont want to get hurt. i dont want him to go home and find another girl for 4 weeks then come back to me. and im afraid it wont last because he "gets bored with girls easily" (like the most recent girl) he said things fell through with us because we both made mistakes and not because he got bored. Im just loooking for some advice. Thanks!
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (15 May 2011):
 Stay away from him and guys like him. They are very skilled at creating attachment in order to get fast sex, then moving on to the next pretty young thing. When you leave a girl who is still in the midst of the initial infatuation, its easier to get her to "try again" during a dry spell, so some players learn to stop sleeping with a girl even if she's still willing ot do it. Always leave them wanting more.
Any use of the phrase "gets bored easily" or "I've made mistakes" should set off alarm bells. They make you feel like, just maybe, you're special enough that he won't get bored or make a mistake. Truth is, it doesn't matter how special you are, he doesn't care. He believes he can have you and all your specialness, but still see other girls when he wants to, and it's somehow ok because he warned you.
Don't talk to him anymore, just find a better guy.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (15 May 2011):
 he may just be at that stage where he is flexing his male attractiveness towards anyone who takes his fancy. It certainly lifts a man's spirits to find he is attractive to a wide range of girls. The chase is a very big thing for such guys. So yes, it may be a good idea to keep the mystery, not be so available to him.
Intrigue him by being just a little less available. Ask your brother what he thinks. Your brother would surely not want to see you with a guy who is a potential player.
Because girls generally benefit from a more committed faithful guy who is genuinely interested in a longer term relationship. Who knows? He may become that guy in a few years. But he does not sound like it yet.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (15 May 2011):
 If "getting bored with girls" is a primary reason why this guy leaves girls on the trash heap, it is because he seeks the novelty of new relationships. Remember all the excitement and butterflies of meeting someone new and getting to know them? Many of us understand that is part of the relationship process and things progress more seriously. There are some, however, who endeavor to exist solely in that state.
If you wish to avoid being hurt - it would probably be a good idea to put some distance between you and this person.
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