A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi my name is lucie and i have a boy friend we havn't been goin out less then a month and he is controling adleast that wat i think. Am not really sure if am in abusive relationship. Will sometime i would think it is abuse and at other time i would think it just a mind thing. But i have readed books and did a little study on it but am stil unsure . HE always think am cheating and he yells at me to the point where am quite. He hasn't hit me like that when he hit me dose it in playing ways but when he 's talkin while doin it he say thing to make me feel that he is not playing no more i honestly dont know wat to do anymore. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): I just got out of a emotionally abusive/borderline physically abusive relationship, and believe me, if you feel the need to ask questions on here it is abusive and you should get out! Don't wait around like I did to see if it gets worse, because that's what I did and it did get worse. He used to think I was cheating too, and he would yell at me over the dumbest things. Then when we got in fights-about a year into it-he would physically move me or throw things to scare me. Follow your gut feeling. Don't be a victim any longer.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): There are different stages of domestic violence. It seems like you are in the verbal abuse stage. You've only been together for less than a month and he feels that he can dominate you? He is NOONE AT ALL to ever tell you what to do. He is not your parent nor guardian. He is simply a boyfriend that you just started going out with. He has to respect you all that he can. Sweetie, if its like this after a month, then imagine a year or 2 years maybe even 5. IF you let him yell at you as if you were his toy, one day if you do something he doesnt " APPROVE" of, he'll take it to the next step and im sure you know what i mean. Respect yourself and try to let this relationship go before he takes it out of hand. Id hate to see that this because another abusive case in thw world. Think about it and be smart about what you do and who you choose to be with because frankly, i dont think this is going to work out. Good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, Zoggi  +, writes (11 December 2007):
Abuse is not necessarily physical. Partners can be controlling or manipulative in other ways. Whether or not he is abusive, it is clear that you are not happy with the situation, and you need to sit down and talk to him about how he makes you feel. When you talk to him, be assertive but not agressive. If it escalates into an argument, try to remain calm, but don't let him walk over you.If he hits you, even if he thinks or says he's only playing, then you need to tell him to stop. If he doesn't listen to you or doesn't take your feelings seriously, then don't stand for it - you should leave him, or at least give him an ultimatum as one last chance. It can be tempting to give in and make compromises but if he is abusing your trust, you need to stand up for yourself.
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