A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm addicted to porn and masturbation.Hey! I'm going to turn 18 in the next month, and I've had sex twice till now. I stopped because I felt too guilty of doing these things, (coming from a conservative family ) and wanted to be celibate. But its getting a little harder for me than I had expected since the past few months.In order to suppress my sexual activity with other guys, I started masturbating more - so much so that I masturbate everyday now- sometimes more than once. I dont know if I'm addicted to porn but everytime my parents are out, I'm on the internet searching for free porn and pleasing myself.Do you think this is normal? Do I need to visit a counsellor or be on medication for this sex drive? Do you think I should just give up on my morals instead of doing such things? Do this is what is supposed to happen during the first few months of this celibacy thing when I'm this young?P.S - It might sound silly and hypocritical, but I consider casual sex to be sick and cheap. I dont want to indulge in it anymore unless I'm truly overpowered by love. But I dont know what to do anymore. Perversion is just consuming my mind, thoughts, images in my head and everything! I would appreciate if you especially tell me how I can get a hold on my sex drive by any physical or spiritual means.
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addicted to porn, celibate, cheap, porn, sex drive, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Unless masterbation is interfering with your social life (BF, Family, life in general), I see nothing wrong with wanting to please yourself. I wouldn't suggest sleeping with multiple men outside of a meaningful relationship, but taking care of your own needs is just fine. You don't need meds, and a doctor.
Good Luck!
Jeff
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): I'm a parent Anon Male. I give advice that I see has wisdom. You are entitled to disagree. I never used the words evil or unhealthy but the porn usage and reliace is unhealthy. ;)
Just so you are aware of how to read and discern truth and not put your own prejudice on what I say based on what others would have said.
:D
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Wow, COD... way to just throw you agenda out there. Most try to cover it up with some subtlety, but not COD. You just go right for the jugular as only a conservative can.
Masturbation isn't evil. It's not unhealthy. Nor is using porn as a mastabatory aide. The only thing COD said that makes sense (taken to COD's usual extreme) is you need to be careful to not use porn to the point you cannot be sexually satisfied without it.
So go ahead and learn your sexual needs all you like, it will help whoever you end up with to know these things as well (and if you don't tell him/her what you like then sex will a disappointment).
Just try to keep it to once a day or so and to not let it interfere with your life.
And word to the wise kid, you aren't SUPPOSED to want to talk about this stuff with your parents. Nor normal kid would ever dream of bring up such a private act as self-stimulation with family members. There are just some things you don't share with kin.
It's not too bad to talk about it with friends, like those Sex and The City girls seem to be fond of or how movies seem to think guys always talk each other (not EVERY conversation is sex, boobs or vagina related).
Your hormones are getting you ready to mate. You fight a loosing battle denying them. It's better to learn how to embrace and control them.
This is why abstinence has never and WILL NEVER work.
Remember... control is key. Other than that, have fun and always remember... getting yourself off is good... having someone else do it is way, way better.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (15 February 2012):
Well from a guy point of view you are totally normal. You body is rushing with hormones and much better you enjoy orgasms on your own than let some uncaring guy take advantage of you. Your body is yours and it is great that you learn how it works...... You are going to have to teach a lucky guy one day so it is good you know. Relax and enjoy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): You sound just like me when I was your age (3 yrs ago). To this day I have a little dependency on the pleasure I get from porn. I would say it isn't normal. When you get a boyfriend, you will know what I mean. A week without porn or masturbation makes sex feel even more amazing. Try going days at a time without it. If you can go three days, try going a week. Anytime mom and dad are out DON'T pull up the porn, do homework or distract yourself! You don't need treatment. As long as it doesnt interfere with daily life and you're not obsessing over it 24/7
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): I'm going to say its not normal.Only because if it were not for the internet, there would not readily be porn available to stir up your lust so you can get off.You should be able to not have to rely on porn to masturbate so I would say that is a sign of over reliance on the crap. Its crap because it doesn't instill values, principles or aid in knowledge that will get into to grad school.I'm a parent of teens and pre teen sons and I have a firm stance on such material.That you also have to lie and hide and wait for parents to not be home also indicates its something you are ashamed and know you should not be doing.People forget that self restraint and self control over ones lust is a good thing. If you let your lust govern you, than relationships become more about lust over love and intimacy.What do you parents say about porn and the why you should not view it?With the thoughts and images, it takes willingness to replace such thoughts. Darkness must be replace by light. So, start carrying around things that remind you of your goal to not be so carnal and sexual to the point you feel you are no longer in control. Sing a favourite childhood song when a thought enters. Take out a letter written to yourself of you promise and why you do not want to think of such thoughts or replay images.You have adopted a habit and it needs to be broken by, joining Mom and Dad next time they go out. Go for a walk and visit a friend.Go for a run everytime you get such thoughts. Take the time to talk to Mom about her day when a thought enters your mind. Send her a note of appreciation.Go window shopping.Set a goal[s]. I did not view porn on internet this week so, I get to buy myself a lipstick or good reading material.That worry and feeling about feeling its out of control says you have a problem. Thats you telling yourself you are unhappy with the growing trend.Seek an addictions program or counselling to get a healthier perspective on your libido, sensuality, and sexuality.I'm just saddened your parents haven't explained to you what the purpose of sexual intimacy is for.The world can say its for the sake of having children and pleasure.I was taught and teach, it is to bring together two people in love and friendship and bond them together. The Intimacy of such a beautiful union of man and woman is joyous and should be reserved for such a loving, trusting, caring relationship of marriage. When it is observed, you have less confusion of dating and whom slept with whom, who cheated on whom, when we were apart, so and so slept with so and so and it hurts me...no fears of STIs.There is wisdom in honouring such a power of procreation and uniting and solidifying a marriage when we can control our lust and bodies and thoughts and wait. You save yourself a world of heartache as it is reflected on this site daily from others who are not so wise.If it proves too much for you to go it alone, then enlist the aid of Mom and Dad. You should never be ashamed to be humble and ask of them for their counsel. They are your parents and it is their Duty to do so.*hugs*
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