A
female
age
30-35,
*eyna
writes:Hi again aunts and uncles, im in real need of help.I am staring to hate the way im behaving right now. I recently ended a relationship, and instead of acting mature i act like a total jerk sometime: I call him and ask him stupid questions, i fight with him about old things, i yell at him for seeing other people,sometimes even when he has told me that he doesnt want to see me or that he doesnt love me i tell him i want to see him (specially when i drink) in other words, im acting like a psycho ex girlfriend. I dont know what gets into me, i just feel the need to vent out on my ex because he has caused so much pain to me, and the thing is that he doesnt even care what im feeling, so instead of making me feel better, i end up crying for the hurtful things he says/does.I am starting to doubt that i am a good person, i think im just straight up crazy for doing all this things. I even think that all the bad things he did to me were because of this, like i deserved all the cheating and lying because im nuts.So, please, help me stop this, the breakup has been pretty hard on me, but this is making it worse.I really want to change for myself.Thanks for reading my post...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009): i got to admit in my last break up i started acting like apsycho ex girlfriend. my friends were so surprised because it is not in my character at all. now that i think back there were a lot of unresolved issues about the break up. i couldnt believe how i was acting. i am usually the opposite. anyway, it was even harder not to because we were still sleeping together every few weeks. it was such a love hate relationship. so anyway... down the line i finally realized it was enough and this guy is not even worth it. sometimes i think was a just bored. i made into a hobby to harrass him...lol. but i would be ok for one week then another act psycho. he would even make fun of me saying "what did i get myself into" and also in a way he was scared not to call me back when i called. lol...just thinking back now i laugh now. but i thought deep about my true feelings and thought...there is no way i love this guy anymore so why i am wasting all this energy. how can i think i love him when i knew if i ever was to start a relationship with him again i wouldnt be happy. so i did what the others suggested. i wrote him a letter saying my feelings and basically telling him i dont love him. in the end of the letter told him i dont want to see him anymore andi dont want him to contact me. and that was it for me. i have too much pride now to break my clousre. I think writing a letter is great idea. say everything you want to say and think hard. because when i wrote mine it was spur of the moment and then i thought of other things i couldve added later :)..finally thought i accepted it for what it was.. anyway.....good luck to you... id like to know ur progress and ill update u on mine ;)
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 September 2009):
 Sounds like you brushed a lot of what happened while you were together aside, so these unresolved issues are trying to get resolved through the anger you have now. I agree with the other poster about the single email. Get it all out, not to be brought up again.
The first step in healing from this also is forgiveness. You need to, in your heart forgive him for how you were treated, and forgive yourself for acting the way you have been. Then you can set your course and be determined to rebuild your sense of self. This needs done before you date again. It wouldn't be fair to the next guy to be put through the after affect of the past relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009): Seems to me your dumped him not to end the relationship but to make a statement but it looks like it's slightly back fired on you? He obviously is relieved the relationship is over, maybe he would have done it first but for various reasons didn't?
If I were u I would put all your thoughts & feelings & questions into a letter or email & then send it too him, asking that once he replys can u both have no contact, delete his mobile & home no & email address from everything?? Give yourself a 3-6 month break from men & try to sort your head out or u will only end up going into a relationship with "baggage"
Good luck
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