A
female
age
30-35,
*inkgoblin15
writes:How do you get a 21 year old girl to see your point of view and worries? My sister left right after work straight for a party then she didn't come home till 11:30 in the afternoon and she was obviously to drunk to drive.Then a few days before that she told my mom she did LCD with some of her friends at a festival in Missouri : / Of course my mom gave her a talking to. But it made my sister upset.. Were afraid she's gonna move back to another state with her controlling/jealous boyfriend and go back to working 2 jobs. And her problems come back : / We also think that's she's not happy here because last Tuesday she was at work for an hour then she left and went to her jealous/controlling boyfriends house.. And she did it again yesterday.. She's my only friend here :(
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 September 2009):
 If you read through answers to questions on this site, you'll generally see that most don't dictate what should be done, but gives reasons that change should happen.
I know you're scared for your sister, and with good reason. It's difficult to see someone you love and care about going down the wrong path. Unfortunately telling her what to do would be ineffective. People who have problems don't want to be told they do, they already know.
I'd recommend, being there for her. Be loving and not judging with what she's doing. If the subjects come up, don't get angry, but talk with concern. Such as, "I know you want to be with him, but I want you to know it hurts me when you are because I know how much he's hurt you." When talking in a way that's not condemning, I've seen people break down and tell their loved one they need help. If that were to happen, don't just tell her to go get it. Affirm that family will be by her side and that she wouldn't be alone during that process. That's gives people who need help a little bit of hope. To often anger and resentment gets in the way, so the one acting out sees it as "me against the world"
I hope this helps you. Take care, and you're a good sister for seeking advise on how to help her.
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