A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I feel female, I love being a woman, and love being my gender. I was born a woman etc... However, I hate having the genitals I have. I've asked a question here before and someone responded telling me I had bad self-esteem and asking if I also hate my hips, my thighs, etc... It's not that. I have good self-esteem and have no problems with how others view my vagina. I just really REALLY wish I had the opposite gender's genitalia. It's the only way for me to orgasm, to fantasize that I have a penis. I have a boyfriend and I have to imagine I'm the one penetrating him rather than the other way around to finish. I used to get (what I can now identify as) aroused by putting fruits and weights in my underwear and walking around with them. What should I do? Is there anything I can do about this? It's been making me unbelievably depressed for more than 6 months now.
View related questions:
depressed, orgasm, underwear, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Van1985 +, writes (19 January 2010):
I am a male, who is the opposite of you. I hate my genitals. I can only get off when I pretend to be a female with my fiance. Her and I have kinky adventures. I want to be a mother so bad, but I have to settle for being a father so I am keeping my genitals. You should talk to your partner, ease him into it, some guys might be into it. I know I would, her and I roleplay and she says things to make me believe she is penetrating me. Hope my advice helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): Maybe try turning your want for a penis into a want for your partners. Try new things with him that get you more interaction with his penis, like oral sex. Otherwise, either accept yourself or try counseling.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): I think I would go to a hypnotist.They can help fix the subconcious part of your brain.Unless you like this confusion.Sounds like an anchor was set at an immpressionable earlier time of life. Now triggers are bringing to the conscious thoughts.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): A penis is a very special thing. It needs a lot of attention and care to grow properly. You have to decide if this is a responsibility that you are really planning to live with and not just a passing phase.
I suggest you take on a few more partners and get to know what their penises are really like before you decide which kind of penis you would like to sport in your panties. You may also be interested in decorating your new penis with a couple of life-like balls too.
Hang in there.
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (15 December 2009):
 Can you say "Penis Envy".
Look it up.
You say you are happy as a woman (can you say "protests to much") but how happy are you to be penetrated? Isn't that part of being a woman? Well a hetero-sexual woman anyway?
Might there be the tiniest feeling that you think being a man would be better, different, more in control? You say you need to think you are penetrating him to come. Do you resent him doing it to you?
How do you see women, honestly. Your mother? What is it about the thought about doing it to him that attracts you.
I think you got the answer yourself, but you need to be honest about your own true feelings to figure it out. Perhaps you are indeed happy with your body in general, but it something about the sexual act itself which upsets you.
We can't dig into your head, only you can.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): Well, you don't have a mans genitalia. Now the question is how you want to proceed. Do you want them? Save up the money, get the operation done etc? You know, even if you do get the operation, you still wouldn't be able to get an erection. Which kinda brings us back to square one as you wouldn't be able to enjoy the penis. So second choice: buy one of these strap-ons. I am sure if you look around websites like seaofpleasure.com and the similar, you'll come across something that would fit in your pants during the day as well (like a flaccid penis to just wear inside your underwear).
First step though: does your boyfriend know? Just tell him. He might not be able to deal with it, but sad as it is: this is you! You want this! And if he can't deal with who you really are, he is not for you. There are many men out there who fantasize about being penetrated by a woman. Yes, there actually is, for all of you who think Im just making it up.
This is who you are, this is what you like. Embrace it, enjoy it, and live it. Get yourself that penis toy right now and experience the fun!
...............................
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (15 December 2009):
 I'm with Emily. Therapy seems a little drastic for what appears to be your particular sexual trigger.
I can't say it is strange, as I have been with women who needed all sorts of different actions and words to push them over the edge.
No-one REALLY knows what another person is thinking about during sex. If you need to visualise yourself with a penis to hit your heights, then so be it.
Please don't think you have gender issues, or anything wrong. I know you feel depressed, and that having a penis is a consuming thought, but that's it. Human nature is to want the things that you know you cannot have. The thought of having a penis gets you hot, and gets you off.
Don't fight it. Accept it for what it is.
Or seek therapy if you feel that you would prefer to be sexually excited by other fantasies.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 December 2009):
Either therapy or just accept that you have a bit of an unusual fettish and then get on with life.
Girls with boy bits are really common in Japanese pornography.
It doesn't affect your life, it's just a bit strange. People get off on all kinds of weird stuff so just accept yourself, enjoy it and have fun in life.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
