A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:my husband is bored in our marriage...says we have done all we can...he prefers to swing cause lack of ideas. im so stressed. im a good person but he wants me to make myself a like a bad girl and talk dirty to him to help him out. how do i do this, im not that way, but i have to save my marriage. i need his affection and he dont try to do what i need for him to do. this isnt really fair to me, but im going to do whatever it takes, before we lose all the love we have for one another, and it drives me insane. thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): Hi Love,
You mention your going to do what ever it takes before you loose all the love, Were is the love from him for your obvious sadness..I understand you have a problem but so does he hunny.
You need to talk with him about what you want to, Its a two way deal love.
I couldnt live like this Id probably have thought, talked, and then gone if I was as unhappy as you, Im being honest. Of course you need affection in your life, Hunny try and get him to go to marriage counselling if he wont go you go, Get some help and advise, Even if you do everything in your power to save this marriage ask yourself will you be happy doing it or is this going to leave you very down and hurt. He needs to know your hurting... PLEASE TAKE CARE LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 Okay I hear what you say, but this should be a two way street. It shouldnt all be on you to save this marriage, he should want to do that too. So on that point, you need to first of all speak to him and ask him if he is prepared to work on the marriage and make it work. There is no point in you doing whatever he wants to make him happy and then you are unhappy and in the end the result will be the same and he wants out anyway. First off go and speak to him and find out where he is just now!
Secondly there are a couple of ways that you can try and make bedroom life a little more interesting. Interesting enough that he would want to be with YOU more.
The main and most simple ways are:
1. sexy lingerie - always a motivator in the bedroom. I dont mean a nice little night dress, I mean something "slutty" but tasteful. Go to your local lingerie store and take a look at what they have. Ask for their opinions too. This is what they do for a living, so they know what they are talking about.
2. Dinner - make dinner for the two of you and have a surprise "desert" ready for him. Sit next to him or in front of him and feed him the desert with a spoon. Little gestures like this always make him feel special and "warm". Afterwards, tell him that he needs a shower and go with him.
Just little things like that can make a world of difference. My boyfriend and I went through this some time ago and we both wanted to stay together because we loved each other but we were bored with things in general. So we had to spice up our life too. So I know what you are going through, but you just have to find something that makes both of you feel special. You may find that the sexy lingerie really makes you feel empowered. This is generally a turn on for a lot of men.
Let us know how you get on and if you do decide to try and of these ideas, if they work for you. I have a lot of other ideas too, so let us know if you both want to make this work.
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