A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I work with this guy and we get along well together. He not necessarily physically my type but his personality os great. He is funny and makes me laugh and even when we get on eachother nerves we still laugh. I feel comfortable and at ease with him. He turns me on by just being around him and I think I turn him on cause he saod everytime I say his name to him it feels kinky. He does have some baggage but Im not too concerned about that cause I just want casual sex with him, not a full relationship. The catch is that I am a virgin and I've thought about this for a year now and I want to have sex now and with him. My question is how do I go about asking him to have sex with me without coming off as a slut or a girl with no morals.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 January 2018):
 I'm with the others! Keep your work and play separate! That's your livelihood and career you'd be putting at potential risk, because a reputation follows you a long, long way. It's not fair and a double standard, but just walking up and asking for sex WILL make you look cheap, and many guys look at taking virginity to be NOT a casual issue.
A lot of guys into casual sex have heard stories about women getting clingy with guys they lose their virginity to, and there IS something to that.
If you're wanting casual sex, you could find an easy time of it at a bar or a casual place, providing that you USE PROTECTION!
Seriously, I hate to say this, and I'm pissed off at society for the unfair double standard, but you WILL come off as cheap for offering yourself so casually in a work setting. One night stands and casual relationships are for OFF-work. There's a huge reason why that's the case.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 January 2018):
 I don't know that you can.
For one thing, he's a co-worker and if things go south, or one of you decides they've had enough, it could cause friction on the job and you could end up being the subject of water cooler gossip. These things DO happen often.
And for another, wanting to give up your virginity to a hook up arrangement reeks of desperation. I'm not suggesting that your first has to be the man you intend to marry, but surely you can find a more suitable candidate.
Going ahead with this idea is unwise.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 January 2018):
 Why would you want casual sex for your first time? Why? And why is this guy relegated in your mind to a "casual fuck" only?
I do agree with the uncles who say don't "eat where you crap" - don't date where you work and SURELY do NOT have casual sex or FWB with coworkers.
I think it's a BIG mistake to think having casual sex is a good way to start having sex. You have no idea how you will feel after, as you have absolutely 0 experience.
So why do you want casual sex with this guy? Because he turns you on? Because you think it's time to not be a virgin anymore? Or what?
Why not TAKE all that energy you put into the flirting and bantering etc. with this guy and go look for someone who WANTS to be with you and who you WANT to be with too. Someone who doesn't just LUST after you but actually cares?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (4 January 2018):
 getting into a FWB situation with someone you work with is a terrible idea.
Getting into an emotional relationship with a person who you think has a great personality, and makes you laugh is a great idea.
Getting int any relationship with someone who has serious baggage is not a good idea. But it depends a lot on the baggage.
To answer your question there is no way to ask for something that is morally questionable, and not look like you have questionable morals.
Re think this. you have known him for a year, and he hasn't asked you out for coffee. There is probably a reason.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (4 January 2018):
 What's the reason for casual sex?
It's possible you'll regret this afterwards, we've seen many posts on this website from people who wish they'd waited for someone they cared about more to lose their virginity to.
But if you're completely happy to proceed then you could go out for a drink and take things from there. Be safe, wear condoms and its up to him what he thinks about you afterwards, there's nothing you can really do about the situation to change that. You are after all, giving up casual sex for nothing.
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