A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a 19 year old female, college sophmore, and a virgin. However, I don't want to be one anymore! I have been going out with this guy for some time, and I want him to be my first. But I am so nervous! I am pretty self-concious about my body, and I am not sure that he wants it. He's been with around 7 girls, and he sounds nervous that I am a virgin. It was almost like a turn off for him. I want to be with him, but how do I let him know that? How do I take it to the next level?And I will put this out there. This isn't a mushy, lovey relationship. We are good friends, but also going out. And we both know this is a college thing. So, I want to have sex with him, but I just don't know how to approach it! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, salvadda  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 First Congats on being a virgin for 19yrs. that alone is an achievement.I won't try to change ur mind because this is a personal decision and u r of age to decide for urself. You told this person u r a virgin which is a very honest thing for u to do. Obviously this person respects this. For some men to be with a woman for the first time is a very serious thing. Some men who have been around know the value of the first time for a woman. For some it is a big deal to *de-flower* a woman. For this man it seems to be the latter. For urself it might a casual thing as u make it sound.I don't believe ur body is a turn off this person. I feel for this person it *might* be a moral issue. There r some men left out there with some morals. Also u do not know what to expect. It may not be as u think, and if it's not don't get disappointment or blame urself afterwards. If u have any close girlfriends maybe u can talk with them about their first time. Get some info, tho it is different for every person male/female sometimes talking with a friend might shed some light on things. It might even help u decide weather to carry through with it or not. In the end it is ur choice to make. I don't know how far u have gone with person. It is usually the physical attraction that ppl desire first. I would say to u make sure this person is good person, one that will respect you afterwards and not put u down for it. Sometimes men also women can be hurtful. I would also like to state that if u do decide to carry through with it plz make sure he uses protection. It is always better to safe than sorry. It is not the sex act that is difficult, it is the after math....I do wish you luck
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