A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So basically I'm gonna try to make this short .I had a baby 10 months ago, I was 17 . The father of the baby he seemed to change (started being responsible, save money for our life together..etc) Now, everythings messed up again he's slightly becoming worst than he ever was and worst even though he sometimes seems like he really loves me, most of the time his actions don't show, he doesn't help me out, doesn't do an effort to get a true job just hope for his dreams of becoming big musician , didnt even graduate high school doesn't plan on studying that was ok because I'm against the system too but now its not because of my baby i want everything for her, and now I want to leave him but every time I try he makes my life a living hell and starts chasing me and doesn't give me my space doesn't let me breathe till he convinces me again about our true love, its really abusive, and also I have no money for a lawyer in my country stuff is difficult speaking about single mothers and how to make the father financially responsible for the kid ... and I thought I loved him but he is disrespectful and rude and irresponsible. I've had Protected sex only condoms and now my period is missing for 2 weeks WHAT COULD this be? splash pregnancy? Had 2 hpt home tests they tell me Im not pregnant what chances are that I could still be? what the fuck my life is fucked up ,advice please !!! would be very appreciated
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): very simple really. Tell your mum and dad what you have told here. They will listen and be angry at you at first but eventually they will help you.That is why mums and dads are made.Your case is not a unique case. There are millions of similar cases in the world. Simply don't go in a circle.Look ahead. you are still young. there are many many years ahead of you to live. so don't waste them.Let mum and dad help you.
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (8 October 2013):
 You're period being late could be pregnancy, stress or weight related.
If you're very under or overweight your periods can stop.
If you're very stressed and upset your periods can stop.
If you're pregnant your periods can stop.
Home pregnancy tests, if done correctly (using the early morning, first wee of the day urine) are usually quite accurate but (and there's always a but) depending on when you conceived depends on whether there is enough of the pregnancy hormone in your wee to register.
False negatives are quite common, false positives don't happen.
Leave it another couple of days and repeat the test using the first wee of the day. If it's negative still go and see your doctor who can do a special urine test using a more sensitive testing agent or take a blood test which would pick up the tiniest traces of pregnancy hormone.
If you are pregnant then one of the first things to get checked out is an STD screen because a condom has let you down (there only about 95% safe if used properly) so therefore you are at risk of STD's too and these can be detrimental to a growing baby not just you.
Next you need to speak to a professional about your choices. Do you want to terminate this pregnancy, continue with it, have the child adopted or keep them?
Take control of this situation my darling because it's not going away.
Any decision you make must be YOURS. Do not be blackmailed into doing anything you can't handle just because your fella makes some promises to help you that you know he won't keep.
Now, whether pregnant or not, you have to get out of this relationship. This guy is toxic.
If he really wants to be a dad then he is going to have to grow up, step up to the plate and take some responsibility.
This does not mean that you should be together. It's hard for single Mum's in many countries, my darling, but no-one would expect you to stay in a relationship with young children with an abusive man who doesn't support his family.
You say you don't love him but your fear is keeping you there and now you might be pregnant again.
So, first retake the test, in the morning, in a couple of days.
See your doctor if negative and you still haven't had your period, or if the test is positive.
Evaluate your pregnancy options (if you are) and get tested for STD's
Make positive changes to your living situation not only for you but for your daughter too. There will be organisations that may be able to help you or refuges (at least temporarily) or perhaps you have family and friends who can help guide and support you. Look into it.
Do you really want your little girl growing up with this guy as her role model? because, believe me, she will look for a man exactly like her Dad to take as her life partner.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (8 October 2013):
If you're Breast feeding, wearing condoms and took a pregnancy test and it came up negative, then the odds are you're not pregnant. Breast feeding is a natural birth control. It also makes your period unreliable.
This is what I recommend. I'm sure your bf has made plenty of promises and broke them. So arrange it to move in with a trusted family member, then dump him. Tell him that it's not because you don't love him, but he's obviously not interested in giving you what you need in a partner and father of your child, so you're leaving. Be respectful of the fact that this is a devastating thing for many guys, but don't let him manipulate you into taking him back.
Move in with the family member, get back on your feet and only talk to him when it pertains to your child until you guys have cooled off. Don't have sex with him, don't tell him you miss him, don't give him false hope.
It's going to be hard, there's no doubt about that, but both you and your child will be better off. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, scrdofyou +, writes (8 October 2013):
 Lets break this down a little bit..1. You're "against the system", do you mean the education system?That system is placed there for you and your childs benefit, not theirs. If you want to provide yourself and your baby a good life, education is a key factor in this. There arent many jobs you can make it on smoithly, that do not require atleast some education. You're still young, why not? I am a single mother too, just a bit older than you are so I am speaking from experience. Its something you should look into, that could possibly change your life for the better.2. He wont get a job. More often than not you feel miserable. Is a reminder every now and again enough to make you want to stay with this man the rest of your life? He obviously isnt putting in effort, to make this work or grow up for the sake of the baby. He knows you will give in. Walk away, and don't let him in. When he tries to contact you, tell him you need time to think, and remind him that if he truly values you, he will allos you this time without making you miserable. Its so much more complicated when youhave a child with someone, but it is by no means a ball and chain, you do not have to be bound to this person forever. How old is this guy? Does he take care of the baby at all? Do you see him changing in the near future? Just because it isnt working right now, does not mean it is over forever. Maybe you guys need a break, some space, and time to establish yourselves as individuals before you try and be a couple. You're both so young, you have plenty of time.Best wishes to you both.
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