A
male
age
30-35,
*eowface_
writes:Hey, I'm seeking advice on something. When my sister had her baby she asked me to be one of my niece's sponsors, which is a God Mother but since we are Lutheran we call them sponsors. I really didn't want to be her sponsor but how do you tell your sister you don't want to be her child's sponsor? So i told her yes even though i didn't want to. Lutherans make a pledge to god that we will be there for them like their parents. I'm not close with my niece at all. I hardly ever see her. It makes me feel bad but I didn't want to be her sponsor in the first place. What are your thoughts? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 February 2012):
 If you don't feel ready for the job, you should be honest and open with your sister.
However, you know the saying: "it takes a village to raise a child?" It is true to an extend. The more positive role models a child, young adult have the better. Why not be one for you own flesh and blood? Who knows, it might even make YOU a better parent when the time comes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): I'm God Parent to 2 kids and I'm not religious. It's a ceremonial thing mainly and it just means you have a close bond to the parents.
You know asking you to be a sponsor OP is a huge honour, and for parents it means their kids have security should anything ever happen to them. It's nothing more than that and nothing will happen to your nieces parents so that's fine. Besides if anything did happen to them you would step up and help look after them wouldn't you? So it's a no-brainer, all you have to do is show up to ceremony and so your bit.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 I'm an atheist, but was asked to be godmother to my baby cousin years ago. This was very important to me, as her mother had abandoned her and she was dumped on my family when she was very little.I had to think deeply... I can't make promises that I don't believe. I'm not keen on telling lies. But she needed someone as a mother figure to feel secure. I read up about the service and the vows I would be taking.For me it was then easy. I could promise that should would be brought up in the christian faith, because I believe children should have some type of religion for reasons of culture, and besides the rest of my family were christian and would take her to church. I could also promise to be there for the rest of her life. I would die for her no matter what, being a godparent has nothing to do with it. The symbolism and the ceromony was more for her and the rest of my christian family.The praying to God bit, and the rest of the God stuff in the vow.... that was problematic, so when the time came I mumbled some stuff just to move my lips and look committed.That worked for me.. think about it deeply but if you can't promise to commit to her, then it's best to decline. Out of my 4 godparents, only 2 did their job. My godfather is always there, even though I'm old and grey and I know that he'll support me in my hour of need, even though we aren't even the same skin colour.
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (8 February 2012):
 As I understand it, being a godparent or sponsor means that you make a promise to see that the child is brought up in the Christian faith, as well as "being there" for the little one.
Are you prepared to take on this responsibility? If not, you should courtesly decline.
However, if this is something you are prepared to do, then can you try becoming closer to your niece and your sister? Perhaps you'd find you enjoy getting to know them and spending time with them.........
...............................
|
