A
female
age
30-35,
*ace_mr.muffles
writes: i like this guy and i think he likes me but i dont wanna keep my hopes up but all of my friends says it's obvious he likes me anyways what if he asks me out what should i do, i've never been asked out before never kissed ,never held hands, i don't know what to do cause usually i'm the kind of shy girl please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): ok hun i was just like you, i was scared of what my boyfriend would think of my kisses and things etc.But you need to build the trust up and he needs to make you feel safe and secure and like he wont make you do anything you dont want to do.Then the best thing 2 do is just go with the flow. If he starts holding your hand then dont push him away hold his hand aswell. Then when the times right you'll feel that your ready to kiss him. But unless your absolutely confident let him make the first move!And just copy what he does and go with the flow!Mail me to tell me how you got on.take carexxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): Well, the first thing I suggest is to try and relax when you are with him. Because if you are shy, being nervous will affect how you act with him and you want him to see the real you right? Not the nervous panicky you. Plus, by actively trying to be calm,you will feel calmer. Just tell yourself, if he really likes you then theres nothing to be nervous about. It's not like you need to make him like you by acting cool and confident, he already likes you the way you are. Another thing I suggest is that if he does ask you out you tell him that you are shy, (he probably knows this already but what I mean is tell him that you would like to take things slow because you are shy). At the end of the day, this is a good thing to do because if you don't tell him you want to take things slowly and build up gradually then he might he might try and do things that you aren't comfortable with because he doesn't know how you feel. If he really likes you, he will be fine with this and you will have a chance to go at a pace you are comfortable with. Always remember, you are in control. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. If he isn't ok with going slow then he is DEFINATELY not worth it, you are a shy person and you shouldn't have to change the way you are for someone else. As for kissing and holding hands etc, if you tell him you want to go slow and that you are shy then he should respect that and take things one step at a time. If you tell him you haven't really been in a relationship before because you are shy (I suggest you do this because, from personal experience, it will definately help because he will understand why you will be shy about kissing and stuff)then he will know that he needs to make the first move and ease you into it. I used to hate it when people said this to me (I was in the same situation as you) but its really true- when the time comes it will come naturally (kissing etc). If he is the right person for you to be with and you really like and respect each other then everything will just come to you, don't do something if it doesn't feel right because when the time is right it will just happen and you will know what to do. Just relax and go with the flow :) message me if you want to have a chat! xxx
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