A
female
age
36-40,
*ime
writes:I'm hoping some of you here have twins so you know what I mean when I say the bond between twins is indescribable, like that of soulmates, a secret club, epic... I have a fraternal twin brother (I'm female, we're 24) who I know will always be the closest person to me. Growing up we have both always felt like we didn't need other people, like they weren't really real. We'd have our separate friends and relationships, but I've always felt so bored and disconnected with people because there is just no way I could ever communicate with someone on the level I can with my twin. We ALWAYS know EXACTLY what the other means, and I know those of you with twins know how significant that is. It is so boring to me how my closest friends and boyfriend cannot understand our humor and way of thinking, I'm often afraid that if I never saw them again I wouldn't really care. I always feel like I am acting with them. I know this is not healthy. My twin and I have been separated for the first time in our lives for a year (different grad schools) and I feel like an empty shell moving through life, always acting, because I really just don't get other people in any meaningful way like I do my twin. I have a wonderful boyfriend who tries his best to understand, a true salt of the earth type of guy, who also goes to another grad school, and who I do love. In a year I will have the opportunity to move to the same city as either my boyfriend or my twin, and I don't know what to do. If I move to my twin, I'm afraid that means I'm not living my life, like I'm abandoning having the normal life thing, husband, kids, etc. If I move to my boyfriend I'll be with a guy who would do anything to make me happy, who I could be content with, but in a place without my twin where I will never feel like myself or like a whole person... Anyway I'm sorry for the long introspection, I'm just really hoping there are twins here who can empathize. Does it get better?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): You're welcome.
A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (15 January 2011):
Nime is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow, thank you guys, this has been really helpful. I thought for sure everyone would say to follow my twin as he is the most important relationship in my life, but you guys have really helped me get a better perspective and you are right.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): Hello,
Well i could relate to you.I'm also a twin but we're both females.& i know how you feel with the whole connection & bond thing because my sister & i are like that as well.I'm only 17 and about to graduate high school & well my sister wants to go to a CSU & finish her college & then move out with her boyfriend.& i know that it's very far from now but when i think of it,i don't know how my life is going to change when i don't see her everyday & spend time with her everyday. I also have plans like her except i don't wanna go to a CSU I'm planning something else,but i also want to move out with my boyfriend.And sometimes my sister and i talk about our futures & we say "oh we'll be fine,we don't need to see each other everyday" but then sometimes when she goes out & she's out the whole day i can't wait for her to get home because i want her to be with me and vice-versa.I feel alone without her.So i completely understand you,but what my sister & i have agreed to is that no matter what we'll always be sisters & we'll try to see each other as mush as we can.We will miss each other now & then but we want to have separate lives & we don't want to interfere with each others plans.
So i say you try & make a future with your boyfriend.I think it is for the best.Because no matter what your brother will always be your twin brother.& i think what you should do is try to see your brother more often & that way you won't miss him as much.You have to start living YOUR OWN life.
& i also understand that you feel that no one understands you like your twin but you can't blame the people because you have to keep in mind that you grew up with your brother so he knows you very well.Just let your bf and friends get to know you better & I'm sure that you'll have better friendships with them.
Hope I helped:) Msg me if you'd like!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 I think that you need to make the choice that you would be most happy with. I can understand that you have a great connection with your twin and you always will. But at the same time you need to live your life independently aswell. Of course he will understand you more than anyone you have both knowing each other since you were born and you will always have that strong connection. But you need to learn to live your own life as well and follow your heart and your dreams. Although i can understand that distance must be hard on you with him being away from you but you need to get used to it because at some stage one of you will settle down and have a family of your own. But dont let distance be a sad event because you will always hold that special bond with your twin brother. So my advice would be to look at your future with your boyfriend.
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