A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend told me that she isn't romantically attached to me. Yet she finds me attractive and wants to be with me? I'm so confused. I told her that if she wants to move on from me then that is fine and I would not be hurt. But she insists that she wants to be with me. She told me that she understands if I leave her though, is she looking for an easy way out? I'm not a psycho or anything and I won't over react if she wants to go, she knows this. We've only been together for a month, maybe things just haven't developed yet?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 It could be things haven't developed yet, but it could also be that she is seeking something else out of a relationship. For some it's all about romance and feeling in love, but for others, a deep care or love for the other is what makes a relationship worth it, as well as stability and security, knowing you are safe and with a good man. Then romance in the sense of heart skipping a beat, pink clouds and hearts all over facebook, doesn't become the most important.
I think you should just trust your girl on what she says. If she says she wants to be with you she wants to be with you! Even if she's not romantically attracted to you, you most definitely must have other great things about you that she is attracted to, and that she lists as a higher priority.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 I think you need to talk to her and have her explain in what light does she see you. Tell her straight out that you are confused and concerned.
I think the only one who has answers here is your girlfriend and she owes you won at this stage of the relationship. Don't be too heavy, but you want to know where you stand because you want to invest time and emotions into her and don't want to get wrapped up with someone who doesn't feel the same. You want someone who is physically and mentally attracted to you -- without that it's sort of a pseudo relationship. Be sure you let her talk and explain what she means and what you mean to her.
Also, this is a face to face conversation, NOT a text message / telephone chat.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat's weird is I have asked if she wanted to be just friends. She told me that she doesn't want to be just friends, she wants me to be with her. I'm lost here!
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (15 January 2011):
I too am getting mixed vibes about this situation. It sort of sounds like she finds you good company and good "friends" material, but she isn't going to sleep with you.You don't mention the current dynamics of your relationship but this is a DEFINITE red flag. You want a woman that finds you attractive and is aroused by you. I'd tread cautiously until you know a little bit more about the situation (don't go head over heels for her yet). But from the gist of your post, it sounds like she's relegated to you good friend and not much more.
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