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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I'm a sex addict. How can I stop thinking about sex and just get on with my life?I'm 51 years old widower, I've looked after three children on my own for the best part of ten years. These children although they are still at home are becoming quite independent. The early years of looking after them I just shut the relationships side of my life down. It wasn't going to happen. Now I feel quite lonely, and I've really forgotten how to date.The other issue is that I'm not attracted to people my own age, but women in their early to mid 20's. People my own age and in my own community seem worn out (physically), married or have children of their own. I'm quite fit, I do fell running, and cycle everywhere. I think of sex all the time but know that in reality anyone I would fancy wouldn't give me a look. Sometimes I think I have a right to have a sexuality. Other times I just want to get on with my life, and shut these unrealistic thoughts out. I woman friend called me perverted recently, it shocked me. I'm not perverted I find the tabload press and pornography distasteful and exploitative and, I've always treated women equally. I've raised two girls and a boy on my own, and I've always treated them equally. My children think I should find someone, and understand that I'm lonely
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2006): I am also in the same boat in some ways. I am however in my twenties and think about sex all the time, even masturbation does not seem to really curb the desire. I am wondering if there is a natural remedy to not needing it or thinking about it anymore. I am attractive and have the ability to recieve as needed however I feel alot of the time that it is only driving me to want more. I am never satisfied. I just wish I could move on and never look back!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2005): Find a therapist who works with men and sexual addiction issues. Your family doctor should be a good resource. There is a reason why this woman called you a pervert. Only you know what that is. Having a healthy sexuality is not wrong-but being compulsive and obssessing over sex is not right either. good luck
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (15 December 2005):
 If you trully think you are a sex addict, then I would suggest therapy, there are programs designed for people that sex and the thoughts of sex are disturbing their ability to function in normal life, but if you are like most men and the less you seem to be getting the more you seem to want it and think about it, I say you need to try to start dating. A lot of women, even in their 20s, would be interested in a man of your description. It is not so much about your age but your confidence, if they think you are confident then they will be much more likely to be interested in you. I agree with the first answer, masturbation can help to get sex off of your mind. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2005): Curious as to why your female friend called you perverted? Perhaps this would help us answer your question. Do you masturbate? This alone would seem to provide some relief from your constant thoughts of sex. As for meeting a woman - don't be shy. To many women the thought of meeting a fit, healthy, sexually active 50-year-old guy is probably quite interesting. Are you financially secure? Again, to many women, a bonus.
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