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I'm a mess and not sure how to be happy again... Please help!

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 May 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 May 2011)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I can't take it anymore. I was in love with my cousin for 2 years, but when I asked her if she shared my feelings she said no and told all her friends at school. Now I'm being picked on by every one...

Even most of my friends have stopped talking to me. Now Im in love with one of my only friends. She's very beautiful but I'm not sure if I should approach her or if I should just let her alone. Please help me I'm crying as I type this. Should I ask her out or just be alone?

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (12 May 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntDear Hurting

I know it may seem like the end of the world to you right now, but don't you believe it. This is a temporary problem.

It will pass.

In a week or so someone else will screw up big time and then everyone will be talking about them and forget all about you. Do you really think your the first person to fall in love with someone who didn't love them back?

Well your not! Just spend a little time here reading

some of the posts and you will see that I am right.

And as someone very wise once said, the best revenge is SUCCESS!

So break out of this depression, and make something of yourself and your life that you can be proud of. Whether this new girl wants to be a part of it or not. You owe it to yourself to keep trying. You have no idea how great your future can be until you get there.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (12 May 2011):

Abella agony auntYou are feeling unloved and picked on by others. Your cousin revealed disloyalty and poor judgement by even being so disrespectful of your privacy.

And those you thought were friends are not much better.

It is time to rebuild who you are from the inside first. Put girls to one side for a moment and concentrate on you.

Your inner strength and your resilience is far more important or this problem will keep returning.

Finding a love interest while 13-15 does not make you a success. It can become a distracting obsession that helps you in no way.

First of all assess your good points. You have more than you think. If you cannot list FIVE very good points about you then you are not being realistic about the talents and skills and positive qualities that are already you.

When you are more confident it will be hard to stop you knowing and easily reeling off TEN good points with ease.

When you feel a lot better about yourself the girls will line up to be with you. But while you are feeling so sad you end up hurting so much inside that the YOU who you project as you is distorted and sends people away.

Put girls to one side for a little while. Get out in the sunshine. Develop a fitness program for you, with help if required.

If there is a place nearby where you can go swimming or cycling then do it.

Visit the Library and read some books that will uplift you. Like Biographies of people who have overcome all manner of problems and succeeded as will you in your life if you can get things together.

And think about how you can help you mother and father around the yard or ask your mom what can you do to help?

Look at your study schedule and look at what you can do to improve your school work.

And ask your parents if there is any volunteer program in your area that they would allow you to join.

Plus there is a book called "I'm OK, You're OK. Find it at the library. When you think every one else is more accomplished and more able than you then that is not a healthy mindset. And you can address that problem by associating only with people who support you. Even if it is just one person who supports you that is better than 25 'friends' who ostracise (stop talking) to you, or bully you by picking on you.

Start assessing people, on whether they are good for you or if they are not, then walk away.

And if you have a skill - painting, drawing, sport, ? then develop it. Learn more about it.

In another two years you will wonder why you ever doubted you

Good luck

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (12 May 2011):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntAnd forget about those who make fun of you, it'll stop, don't worry about it, besides, in a few years, you won't even know this people.

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (12 May 2011):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntDo you know if feels the same way? If you think she does, go ahead and ask her with confidence. Even if she doesn't though, I think you should tell her how you feel about her, you shouldn't keep that sort of thing locked up inside, you need to tell her.

I hope that helps.

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