A
female
age
51-59,
*mc1991
writes:I am a married woman now for 17 years with three kids. Recently I met this married man online. We have talked now for like three months straight. Only of course when he's at work. I sit and wait for his emails day in and day out. Someday we talk all day back and forth and other times we skip a few days. We both sometimes feel guilty that were doing this behind our spouses backs. We talk about meeting up than we don't. We know it will lead to more if we do meet. Its so frustrating though. I feel this man has consumed so much of my time but I love talking with him. We totally click. He says I'm like his drug. We are addicted to each other. How do I keep myself from emailing him and fantasizing about him? I know this is all wrong.
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at work, married man, married woman Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): Well you must have been dissatisfied if you went looking and got chatting to him in the first place. Fantasies are often better than reality because we only look at what might be, which is probably nothing like how the other person actually is.
Could you do something to pep up your marriage? Go out more or find ways to spice up your sex life? Presumably if you are still with your husband there is still some love there. Count all the things you are happy about with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): "Is not this the true romantic feeling...not to desire to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping you?"(quote by Thomas Clayton Wolfe.
Maybe the above quote can help you to think carefully about your situation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): Why are you even asking the question. You can't stop and won't stop. Eventually you will meet and have sex. You will fall in love and ruin your marriage. He will go back to his wife.
You will sit amongst the pieces of what was your life and say why why why did i do this.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): Hi There, You are setting yourself up for heartbreak, just read the story of Mae5 September 18th, "My paramour used me for sex" and I am sure it will give you an insight into the heartbreak of an affair, Be warned. Love Becky
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): What you are doing is called emotional infidelity.
I think you should try distancing yourself from this. It can only lead to lots of problems and heartache.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (30 October 2008):
 Are you working? Is it that you need something else in your life? I expect a lot of us have clicked with someone on line at some point. I used to get on great with a married guy some years ago. There was a big time attraction. He lived about 2 hours away, and we talked everyday on msn. And about meeting up sometime. Not that it ever happened. And looking back, i'm glad it didn't. But we have each others email addresses and if we wanted to, which none of us have for a year or so now, we could get in touch.
I think deep down I was bored.
Online fantasys rarely pan out. It will blow over I expect.
C xxxx
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