A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a married woman in my 30's and I had a healthy marriage till last month.I was out of town for work and I stayed at a hotel, my room mate was a pretty young girl I know from work.We were at a party after work talking and we really connected one thing led to another to find ourselves making love back in the hotel. When I got home next day I didn't tell my husband about what happened and tried to forget it.Lately the girl transfered into my section and I see her every day, I started to have these feelings for her. I don't know what to do.What we did was it wrong? Should I tell my husband about it? Is it cheating? How should I react with her? How can I stop these feelings in me? Please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): As a husband of a Bisexual woman let me first off start by saying that for anyone in a committed relationship if sex with another is happening behind your partners back it's deception. If you cannot be honest enough with yourself and your partner about what you want then its not fair to either of you. As a fairness to your partner if you do indeed care for them perhaps some discussion and some time for him to ingest the new aspects of the life with you he will have to accept before you act on your desires again would be the mature way to proceed.
A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (22 January 2008):
 I had a similar experience a few years ago and I am bi today because of it. My boyfriend at the time accepted it and so does my guy now. I am Bi and its something any guy has to accept about me.
I think you should be honest with your husband about this and let him know. Even if this a one time fling, he has to know if you are having those kind of feelings for other women. He may just accept it like my guy did. If he is mature enough to accept this about you he might be okay if you explore it a little.
At worst this could lead to divorce, but I think thats going to extremes. At this time the politics of being a Bi femme is something that is pretty new for a lot of people. People are so quick to say you are cheating here...but I think its debatable. ALthough my relationships with guys are more important to me, they have to understand that I am Bi and I do have sexual friendships with girls. IF he or any guy can't accept that I don't need to be with him either. The rules in any relationship are the ones you make for yourself, and even if they dont comply with the world at large.
i know i am not saying something popular here, but I also know many girlfriends who maitain boyfrinds and still play on the side with girls. you can call it cheating if you want but i call it living as a bisexual girl.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (14 January 2008):
 WHOA GIRL! What is your phone number & where do you live!! I am just teasing.
But really, I don't think that it should be categorized as cheating. You know what, most guys fantisize about being with 2 women at the same time.
I had a girlfriend, not sexually, who was attracted to other women. She was attracted to me, but I don't go that route. Sooo, you are bi-sexual. So what.... Don't sweat it. Relax.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
What happened was not expected although I no from my parters point of veiw it would be classed as cheating as you are giving your body to another be it female or male, Its a hard choice for you to make to tell your husband as you said your marraige was healthy and I presume strong so that sweetheart is something you will have to think about very carefully as trust is one of the most important thing in a relationship. Its even harder for you now as she is going to be working close by you so at some point the night in question may come up so you will have to be prepared, some real soul searching will have to be gone through here and if your marriage is a strong one and you feel that you should tell your husband be prepared for him to feel very upset, We learn from everything in life hunny I hope things work out for you and you find peace of heart and can get your life back on track TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): Your profile says you are 18 - 21 years old, not in your thirties.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 January 2008):
 If this is just a one time affair , you should not tell anyone about it.But if you are going to continue into this activity , it will be discovered sooner or later and you may have to deal with it.
If you have no peace and troubled in your conscience, then you should not do it again. What is past cannot be undone.If you really cannot control your feelings ,then you will have to talk to your husband about this situation.There are married men and women who became gays and lesbians in later life.
It will depend on how your husband will accept this situation.You may read this article about being a bisexual wife ..
http://laura1318.wordpress.com/2007/11/20/is-your-partner-a-bisexual/
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A
female
reader, red1982  +, writes (14 January 2008):
What you did was only 'wrong' because you are married - it is still cheating even though it was with a woman. Would you class it as cheating if your husband slept with a man??
I don't think you can stop these feelings you have for this woman - but you can choose not to react to them. Have you ever felt this way about a woman before - or is it just this woman? What is it that you find so great about her?
Whether or not you tell your husband is up to you, but he is likely to be very upset and hurt, as well as angry at your betrayal. Also if you can't understand yourself why it has happened then you will not be able to console him when he asks you why you did it.
You say that your marriage was good up until this happened - it may be strong enough to get over your infidelity, but if you want to be with this woman again then is marriage still what you want.
I think you have a lot of soul searching to do, and a lot of questions that you need to find the answers to before worrying about how to react to this woman at work and whether or not to tell you husband.
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