A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try and make this short and try not to bore you all to death! Basically I have been in love with my friend since I was 16 (I'm now 22). We used to be very close up until around a year ago, to the point where friends and family thought we were dating. We would act like a couple in many ways - always holding hands (even under the table when we were out with dinner with our other friends), cuddling in bed and falling asleep like a 'normal' couple would, we would tell each other that we loved each other all the time (including mouthing it across crowded rooms sometimes). She would love it when I would jokily get jealous of guys who were hitting on her (she loved it when I pretended to get all protective over her. She always made it very clear she was going to reject the blokes - she even once said to me that 'I had nothing to worry about'). When friends assumed we were dating she just said she was 'flattered'. Our relationship was very intimate and intense. All throughout this she has known that I am a lesbian. She says that she is completely straight and has never shown any interest in any woman (other than me perhaps). She would sometimes talk about blokes she fancied. She has never had a boyfriend and is a very girly person (although so am I). I very much doubt she is 100% gay. The thing is that I just have no idea what to do. I haven't seen her in over a year now as she's been at university. She's coming back next week and I'm worried about what's going to happen. I have had time to reflect and think about our relationship over the last year and I thought I had gained some sort of clarity on the situation. Her coming back home is making me feel confused again and very lost. I desperately don't want to hurt her, or make her feel like I've been a fraud all this time by witholding this. I feel like I've betrayed her in a sense. If anyone has any advice or similar stories I would greatly appreciate it! :-) Thank you for reading, it's been quite cathartic just writing it!
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jealous, lesbian, never had a boyfriend, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): consider this a reunion, but don't assume that the level of intimacy is there. I'm going to assume that you two were never sexual with each other, and that when you say that she's not 100% lesbian, that she's not 25% lesbian either.
Make contact with her, catch up and see where it goes. If there's a spark there maybe it will grow, if she's moved on dating boys then maybe your relationship will have to morph into a new one.
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