A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there!I am very confused because of my ex. He was really in love, I was too. And one day he had a mental breakdown. Suddenly he felt nothing for me, for none, so he carved my name on his arm. I decided to break up because he was always saying: I feel nothing for you. I broke up. A Month after we talked for hours, and he suddenly said he was missing me, that he wanted me back. But he said he has hurt me a lot so he doesn't want me to be his girlfriend anymore. So I told him that I don't care to get hurt as long as I'm inlove, I will always forgive. But then he has girlfriends, breaksup with them a week after. And a friend of mine told me that my ex said I'm the only girl he will always love, that he went crazy when I broke up, and that he does want me back. I'm so confused... Someone can help and tell me how to prove him that I don't really care of what he did wrong.
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): Did he see a doctor when he had his breakdown? Because if not he needs to see someone and get a proper diagnosis. He sounds as if he is suffering from depression and self harm is one of the symptoms. Rather than indulge his grandiose behaviours and say you will be hurt then because you dont mind. It might be better to be practical for the moment and as a friend, suggest he gets a medical opinion regarding his emotional stability. I would stop listening to what your friends are saying because its not very helpful and will only lead to more confusion for you. So try and encourage him to seek help and be there as a friend for now.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): Let's look at the facts here:
1. He said he doesn't love you anymore, so you broke up with him. (+)
2. He CARVED YOUR NAME IN HIS ARM even though he said he doesn't love you. (-)
3. You think it's fine to get hurt as long as you're in love. (-)
First of all, you did the right thing to break up with him. Your ex sounds like he needs to see a psychiatrist. Doing things like carving your name into his arm is definitely a strange, obsessive thing to do, particularly after he made it clear he didn't love you at all. This is a mixed bag of feelings here.
And then, how can you be fine being hurt as long as you're in love? You would be OK being physically abused as long as you loved the man who was beating you? You'd be OK being emotionally abused (which is what your ex did), as long as you loved him? This isn't a good perspective to have. If you do this, you will find yourself in miserable situations, perhaps in fear for your life or safety.
I think it's best to lie low for a while and not speak to your ex or his friends. He needs to cool off and get help, and you should really reconsider your fundamental ideas about what a healthy relationship is.
...............................
|
