A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a lesbian. I am 13, (NOT A PHASE I HAVE LIKED GIRLS SINCE I WAS 7) I am very open about it. err, but, I just don't know how to come out to my mom. I have told her I was bi. But, she didn't believe me, and I have tried telling her I was gay last year, but she said you still think boys are cute, I said "I will still know if someone is cute!" But, I just haven't talked about it. and my friend kept starting rumors, that my mom found out about. And she said either your gay or not. So, please, help. How should I come out. Or should I wait a few years? I just really don't know. Thanks in advance. --Skye
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): I too have liked girls since I was around that age, and I still do 10 years later. My parents at first thought it was a phase, but came to realize as the years went that that wasn't the case. I really never felt it was anything 'different', and they actually talked with me about it when I was 11 rather than me hiding it and telling them later (not that I would probably have hidden it anyway). They never had any problem with it (though my mom took a little longer to get used to it than my dad) and have fully supported who I am.
Now, I'm not very good at giving advice myself, but I'm sure your mother will be fine with it. She may take some time to completely come to terms with it, but she should still love you regardless. Just tell her some time when you both are free and when you feel the time is right. Have a real conversation with her and try to help her feel comfortable with it if she isn't. I hope it will all work out. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): I'm 21 and pretty much since I can remember I knew I was gay, so I understand where you're coming from. I think I came out to my mum when I was like 15 or something and she thought it was a phase and whatnot as I'm not a tomboy or anything (which kind of hurt to be honest). After time she realised that it definitely isn't a phase, and is totally cool with it and considers it to be a non issue (as every person with a brain should do).
I would try not to make a big deal out of it, you've told her, be open with her if she asks but it's not urgent to tell her again. I'm sure she'll figure it out when you come home with a girl and not a guy ;-) I hope it goes well for you, coming out can be hard, do your best to ignore rumours and keep out of gossip and whatnot (you'll seriously regret getting involved in the future!). Just concentrate on yourself and do what you enjoy doing and things will happen naturally, good luck :-) xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Um Im 13 also and alot of girls at my school say that they are bi but only because they think its cool.... though that isnt your case you shouldnt keep it inside. I know that if i told my mother someting like that she would kick my a** (just kiddin lol). If your mother doesnt accept it then maybe she isnt ready and telling her at a later age might be healthier for your relationship with her so she doesnt think the worst of the situation.
Trust me i have a really bad attitude (or so my mom says) And she would probably think i was getting back at her with something that would humiliate her.
Just a thought PEACE!
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A
female
reader, aintnoangel  +, writes (15 July 2010):
 i think any parent would deny their child being gay, at any age, but especially when they're only 13. their thought process would be how could anyone so young already know if they were or were not gay. if it were me, i'd wait till i was older... 18 or so; then bring your girlfriend home or something. that way, at least your mum will be able to accept that you are almost an adult, and you can make your own life choices. best of luck hun
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