A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HI,here is my dilemna. i think i have trust issues and i cant get over them. the father was a bit of an ass years ago and i suppose even now isnt being the best to me. now i have this great boyfriend who is super is standing by me, wants to be with me but i feel when he isnt with me he turns into this nasty monster. i know that sounds crazy but i think he is this different person when hes out with his friends and i dont like it. the thing is i dont even know if he is different, whenever i go out with them we have a laugh its great but when im not there i envision him different. we live together and have only started to since 4 months ago but i dont like when he goes out with his friends or i throw a strop. i dont think he tells me things even though we live together. i know im at fault in my lack of communication to him but i want to know why i pick fights. hes a great guy who loves me yet i pick fights with him when i dont have him around or under my control. my friends tell me to relax and i want to. i soo want to but i dont know how to lay off him. he has done nothing wrong ever!!! and im a horrible person to him. i need help :) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, karasu10  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 i was in the exact same situation about a month ago. the result-i moved out because my bf dumped me for picking meaningless fights and now i live with my mom again. it took me a while to figure out why i did all that stuff to him. then i realized it was because i was insecure in the relationship. even though we spent everyday together. you're just insecure with yourself, as i was. just try and see the good in your relationship and hold onto that. if u feel like you're going to pick a fight, just bite your tongue and take a few minutes to yourself to get over it. dont hold onto being a horiible person, just forgive yourself now before he gets fed up with the way u treat him. just learn some relaxation methods that can work for you, then things should start to look up for you and your man.good luck :)
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