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I'm a gay guy, he flirts with me, how do I tell if he's gay or not?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 March 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 March 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *aps writes:

Theres this boy i really REALLy like,but i can't tell if he's gay or not...we have alot of the same hobbies that a normal straight guy likes to do (Longboard,swim team,etc.)and we also have somewhat the same taste in like music and movies,i noticed though that alot of the stuff he likes is stuff a gay guy would like (ex. Nick jonas music,Glee,Make it or break it,etc)....also alot of girls like him,but when they flirt with him,he doesnt exactly flirt back,he just gets kind of annoyed,some girls have asked him out and he always says yes to be nice,but he eventually ends the relationship.....when were just talking or playing would you rather,if i were to say like " would you rather do a girl with herpes or a guy" he's always extremely quick and defensive like he'll say " the girl,no homo,all day everyday"and I guess i do that to people who i haven't told im gay yet,i get really defensive....one thing is that he flirts with me alot,and i can't tell if its just a friendly way or if he's trying to send me signs ( by the way he doesn't know im gay) like in the hallways he'll give me a light shove and smile at me or in the beginning of class he'll come up to me and sit on my desk with his butt facing me like he wants me to check him out,or in pe he'll pull up his shorts and say " do you like my creamy thighs",also when im sitting on the ground with some friends during p.e. he'll walk up and sit on my shoulder...the things that confuse me though is that he doesnt sound gay ( i know not all gay guys do,but most at my school do) he hangs out with almost all guys, unlike me where a majority of my friends are girls,and he's really into sports,i mean i kinda like swimming and i love longboarding,but there like his heart and soul....please please,give me your opinion and any suggestions on any ways i can tell if he's gay or not.

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A male reader, maymay111 United States +, writes (24 March 2010):

You should tottalyy flit back becaus he is gay and if you want to you guys could probully kook up!!!

P.s. Im gay and im 15. also my boyfreind di that sme egsact thing when we were just frends!

sincerely:

Maymay111

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010):

Hey buddy. I had a friend that was much like you are describing. He was married to a woman but would flirt with me. He even told me he wanted to have sex with me on a couple occasions. He was drunk the first time and then once when he wasn't. He would then become ashamed of saying what he did. Put me through an emotional spin cycle. So we stopped hanging out with each other. My point is, that there are alot of gay guys out there, many that don't meet the stereotypical flamboyant gay. Alot of them have even married and are with women, and secretly persue relationships with men to get what they desire. He does sound like he is interested. One thing I found out is that you have to be courageous. Don't pass up the opportunity. That old friend even told me that he wished he had met me a year earlier, before he was married and had a kid. Don't pass up the opportunity while you have it.

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (4 March 2010):

AvgGuy1 agony aunt

I read some advice from another 'aunty' here...

WATCH who HE looks at (other than you). It's a dead giveaway. He'll even do it almost involuntarily. You just have to pay attention. DON'T STARE though... you don't want to tip your hand... per say.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (4 March 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIf he flirts with you , flirt back and see his reactions. You would have your answer. He could be a closet gay .

Ask him about gay issues and see where he stands.

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