A
female
age
30-35,
*angbangbang
writes:Hi! I need some help to figure out my feelings.I'm a disaster when it comes to relationships. I like some guy and then I always end up dating him seriously without really falling in love with him...So, yeah, my relationships have all been doomed since the beggining. There was only one relationship which really lasted, when I was 17 I dated a boy for about two years and a half. It was an up and down relationship, we broke up about four times and there were times when everything was ok and I felt complete, there was loads of chemistry between us and we were happy...but the downs of it were really unbearable and we kept fighting and arguing about stupid stuff and even competing (at school, about knowledge, etc...). When I finished high school I went to college away from our home town, but he stayed and went to college there. So we broke up for the fourth time. Then i got involved with other guys, but it always ended soon after it started. And everytime I end a relationship I find myself thinking about what I had with the boy i dated for almost 3 years and I end up texting him (as a friend only, to check if he's ok and etc, I never told him this). We hooked up once, about an year ago, but it didn't work out (again...), we were too self-centered back then. I really don't know what this means... I don't want to admit that I still have feelings for him and I remember all the reasons that made me break up with him. I think he is in a stable relationship with a girl from his college (yes, i find myself obssessing about how she looks or doesn't look like) and I seem unable to make things work with other guys...Maybe I'm too immature, maybe I'm not "girlfriend material".I just know I have to work things out because all this confusion is killing me...I am unable to focus on my studies and keep looking at my cell to check if he answered my last message...It's childish really and it embaresses me sooo much. Sorry for the strange english...It's my second language and I haven't practiced a lot lately...
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female
reader, confusednkentucky  +, writes (27 April 2009):
Even though most of us crave being in a relationship, here lately I've started to realize untill we get that inner healing, It's hard to start fresh, I think your going to have to do some self analyzing, and just letting time pass wont cure things, feeling lonely kinda makes the bad in exes go away, Really start thinking and coming to terms with why things didn't work out, not just his faults, but what you could and should do different, and when we fall so easy it's because of how badly we want to be in a relationship and have a connection, that probably stems from some other area of your past, now that I'm more aware of my patterns it really does help me to not keep doing crap again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): The problem is not whether I am a disaster or not. I do know that i can't jump into things. I wanted help figuring my feelings about my ex boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 April 2009):
 We don't have any details about your relationships and why they end the way they do, or why you get involved with someone you don't love. I'm afraid that, even if we did, no hard and fast conclusion could be derived. So I think all I can do is suggest that you don't jump into a relationship again, and that you think long and hard about your failures so far. They will give you the light.
Wish you the best.
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